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The words “please” and “thank you” are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to etiquette rules. Three-quarters of Americans say they think they have done etiquette According to research from the Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs, American behavior has gotten worse over the past few decades. Case in point: 50% of young people say using a cellphone in a restaurant is perfectly acceptable, while only 20% of those over 60 agree.
Why etiquette is important
This is a bigger issue than just dinner parties. An important part of raising children is teaching them good behavior because it helps them be more successful in life, says Jodi R.R. Smith, of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting.
Lack of basic etiquette will affect every aspect of a child’s life. For example, these etiquette rules should be taught in schools, but they are not.
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How to Teach Children Good Manners
- Smith said the act of teaching doesn’t have to be a struggle.
- Practice at home and prepare your children for different situations ahead of time so they are not surprised in the moment.
- Have age-appropriate expectations. Understand what your child is capable of learning and doing at each stage of life. Parents are often surprised at what their children are given the opportunity to handle.
- Set a good example. Children are great imitators, so be aware of your own behavior, even if you think they aren’t watching.
- Skip the threats and punishments. They don’t work, and positive reinforcement is more effective in the long run.
- Let your children know they can always ask you questions.
The Forgotten Etiquette All Modern Kids Should Know
Once upon a time, these etiquette rules were considered basic knowledge, but today they are rarely seen. Making sure your modern children know these “old-fashioned” etiquettes will give them an edge in society.
Know when to turn off your phone
Most children, even young ones, have their own smartphones or have direct access to their parents’, which means they need to learn phone etiquette as they grow up, says etiquette expert Ade Odatta, and founder of… Etiquette Matters.
The first is to know when to turn it off or mute it and keep it out of sight, such as at movie theaters, places of worship, birthday parties, and family dinners.
Re&caro;i “Before the Emu”
Remembering to say “please” and “thank you” is a good start, but you should also teach your children how to accept thanks politely, Chinck says.
– Many children, when thanked, say “no problem,” “whatever,” “okay,” or simply don’t respond. The correct answer is to say “no problem” or even “glad” – she said.
Small acts of kindness
Small acts of kindness help keep society running smoothly. Czink said things like opening a door, picking up dropped items or letting someone go first in line can make a difference.
Two little kids and preschooler playing together on outdoor playground. Children playing outdoor activities competition standing on log on summer sunny day |
Think of the small acts of kindness that even young children can do for adults and other children.
Of course, teach them to do this in a safe way when an adult they know is present, and don’t force them to interact with strangers they’re not comfortable with.
Say “Thank You” to the Service Staff
Saying “thank you” is the foundation of all good manners, but today many children (and adults!) neglect to thank the people who help them in so many small ways every day, such as waiters, store clerks, teachers and bus drivers.
It’s not just about being polite, it’s about teaching children to recognize and acknowledge the value of others’ contributions.
– Ultimately, it’s about teaching them not to treat other people like their servants,” Chinke said.
Give up your position
In the past, it was common to give up your seat to an elderly or pregnant woman, but today, many people put their children’s comfort above that of others. Unless they’re very young or sick, most children are perfectly capable of standing for periods of time (they may even enjoy it!), and it’s a great opportunity to teach them to be kind and considerate of others, Czink says.
This is an especially good reminder for young adults and teens who may not look for those around them who need help.
RSVP
Granted, invitations have become more casual these days, but whether you receive an invitation via email or in a paper envelope, it’s still important to RSVP so the host can be prepared, says Maryanne Parker, a professional etiquette trainer and author of “Manor of Manners.”
There are many reasons why a child may refuse to answer: maybe he prefers to wait for a more exciting call, maybe he doesn’t want to talk to his host or call, maybe he is distracted or forgetful, or maybe he doesn’t want to say “no” and disappoint someone.
Whatever the reason, she said, it’s more important than ever to teach children to respond immediately as a sign of basic respect and gratitude for being invited.
Wait at the table until everyone is there before eating
Whether you’re eating at home or at a restaurant, proper etiquette is still to wait until everyone has been served before you start eating, Parker says. Many people assume that children should eat right away, but even very young children can learn to wait a few minutes for others.
Calm your child
Children can be loud when they cry, laugh or just talk. Parker says parents should teach their children early on how to lower the volume and pitch of their voices depending on where they are.
You can turn this into a fun game for little kids, like trying to find out who is the quietest in church.
Rivers are shrinking…
Children are natural interrupters, and while it’s normal and appropriate for them to crave your attention, their need to get it at the expense of others in a conversation is not normal. Teach your child to tap your hand and then patiently wait for your acknowledgement before speaking, Parker says.
If they interrupt you, calmly tell them that it’s rude to interrupt them and let them know you’ll be quick to listen to them. Remember, this works both ways; give your child the same kindness by not interrupting him when it’s his turn to speak.
Provides valid observations
Telling Uncle Freud he looks pregnant or asking a stranger why he has spots on his face (acne) are developmentally appropriate behaviors for young children entering their world. However, they should be taught that their words affect others and that commenting on their appearance can be hurtful, says etiquette expert Lisa Grotts, founder of Caron ica Golden Rules Gal.
Compliments are fine, but talking about someone’s looks in public should be a no-no. Tell them that when in doubt, they should wait until they can tell you in private.
Cover your cough and sneeze
Now, Grotz said, it’s more important than ever to teach children to cough or sneeze into a tissue or their elbow.
It’s not only a matter of hygiene, but… it’s also a way to help those around you feel safe and comfortable.
Write a thank you note or text
Gift givers want to know that their gift was received and that the recipient enjoyed it.
Grotz says kids of all ages should learn to write or draw a thank you note when they receive a gift. Another modern option is to send a thank you text or email, preferably with a cute photo of the child holding the gift or a sign expressing gratitude.
Use good social etiquette
Unless they are very young, most kids these days use social media, which means they need to learn the dos and don’ts of online social interactions, Grotz said.
Basic rules include not posting pictures or tagging people without their permission, and not disclosing personal information or revealing other people’s private information.
Promotional meeting
Many children refuse to engage with their parents or talk to people they don’t know and need to learn how to greet others politely.
The ideal way to introduce yourself is to reach out to fathers, offer a handshake and smile warmly, Grotz said, adding that this applies to both children and adults.
However, if handshakes are discouraged or your child doesn’t feel comfortable touching others, a nod or elbow bump is perfectly acceptable.
arrive on time
Grotz said that even though kids don’t know how to drive, they can and should know how important it is to be ready on time.
Not only does this make their day go smoothly, it is also a sign of respect for their classmates, teammates, teachers, and family.
For children, this means teaching them how to move from one activity to another, learning to tell time, and always putting things away, such as shoes and coats.
On the phone
Younger generations may be better at using smartphones, but older people generally have better phone etiquette, especially when it comes to phone conversations. Chinke said it’s shocking how many kids don’t know the basics of phone conversations.
Teach them to answer the phone with a polite greeting and say something to end the call rather than simply hanging up or returning the call to an adult.
Show your child how to make a call, introduce themselves and how to take turns. Make sure they also know how to manage a video call, it said. Research and Development.
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