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No one knows what to expect when they enter a marriage. How could they – no one has a clear future – nothing is guaranteed, even if you will always have a successful relationship with your partner. Even in the best foundational marriages, someone may cheat, someone may “wander” emotionally, someone may experience challenges related to mental health… and sometimes people change in ways they never even expected. Sometimes bad things happen that are completely beyond your control.
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Sex Tips
diseaseAs we know, death and loss, and even world events, “hit us” without warning. Besides, you may be one of the lucky ones who has a relatively easy life and a simple marriage. You never know — and that’s the point. Fortunately, when it comes to marriage, there are things you can prepare for if you’re older; and writer, editor, and critic Joanna Schroeder explains that you can still get away with these things while you’re married.
Understanding these rarely discussed aspects of marriage can ultimately save your relationship. Here are 6 key things about marriage that can help you and your partner maintain a successful relationship forever:
1. There is no such thing as unconditional love for one’s spouse
The thing is, your spouse is not your child. They are your partner, your adult co-worker with whom you have decided to spend the rest of your life. There is no guarantee that you will love that person every day, month, or even year, and they don’t have to love you back.
– All my life I’ve only heard that I won’t always like my husband, but I will always love him. So when we hit a rough patch, she worries that our marriage is over. After all, there’s not much love left when we treat each other so badly. Isn’t marriage about unconditional love? Joanna says, adding that a marriage therapist told her that wasn’t true because her partner wasn’t her child and couldn’t guarantee unconditional love for each other.
– My lightbulb moment came when I realized that unconditional love is not a condition for marriage. We can still be a happy couple and a happy family even in difficult times when love is not prevalent. The most important thing is that you must be worthy of each other’s love, even if it takes five, ten or forty years – it’s all the same.
2. The first two years after your child is born may be the most difficult period in your entire relationship
Don’t let it become a model for the rest of your life together. Babies are one of life’s greatest joys for anyone who wants to have a family. But even if you’ve wanted to be a parent your whole life, when that moment comes, things change. You may have spent years establishing routines and methods for handling conflict and ways to bond. But kids are going to change all that.
– People tell you to definitely put your marriage first, and I agree with that, as long as you also prioritize the health and happiness of your children. But I want you to know that being a child can be very exhausting at times. You don’t sleep, your hormones go crazy, you can be excited, your whole mentality can change. But don’t let this difficult period become a model for the way you view and treat your spouse for the rest of your life – warns Schroeder. Watch your temper and practice building patience. There are therapists, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to accept it. Don’t let hostility be the only way you treat each other.
3. Your relationship isn’t always about sex
No matter how much you love sex, it’s not always as plentiful as you imagine. Throughout your life, you may encounter moments where you are misplaced. sexual desire.
– Our friend, a successful marriage and family therapist, tells his clients that their sexual desire is not their partner’s problem. But she says that growing sexual problems are a shared problem. You have to do everything you can to prevent your sex life from completely dying out for a long time. Instead of having sex when you don’t want to, do whatever it takes to get to the point where you really desire it; sex therapists, romance novels, sexy photos.
The best thing you can do is appreciate the different desires you have and really focus on them. You want to hear their voice on the other end of the phone when you’re sad or have good news, you want to snuggle up and watch TV, you want to make them happy by cooking for them or watching them and being with them over a favorite movie or whatever… you want to make them laugh, you want the feel of their skin against yours in the middle of the night – whether it’s sexual or not – these things are important. These things build life.
4. Doing nice things for your spouse every day will bring joy to your marriage.
It’s not about gifts or flowers, it’s not about maintaining the same house or sex. Well, sometimes it is. But it’s also about calling your spouse sweet names, or smiling at each other. It’s about telling them the nice things you feel when you feel for them. Telling them you’re glad to have their vote or buy them a car. What they enjoyed in the store.
– If I feel happy and warm, then there is nothing wrong with saying it. I can’t tell you how happy this makes my husband – she said.
Many small moments of happiness make up a happy marriage. So, almost every time you can think of it, get out there and do something nice. It’s worth it.
5. Never be the person who is unwilling to do the work or solve the marriage problems
– I don’t think any one person should do all the work. In fact, quite the opposite. It’s a terrible truth that no matter how hard one partner wants to work on the problems in a marriage, no matter what therapy she goes to or how much she changes, a marriage that is fractured and broken cannot survive if both partners don’t actually do it. Joanna says Elite has seen her friends and family’s marriages succeed during difficult times, but she’s also seen those that failed – and some have to end.
You have to be patient and sometimes let your partner catch up with you. Sometimes you will work more, sometimes they will, but in the long run it has to be equal. After all, the boat can’t move forward if you only row one side.
6. Never argue about who works more
– No, don’t do that. Parents It’s also the harder work. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the stay-at-home parent or the parent who works outside the home. You may be working in ways that your partner doesn’t see. Let’s assume that he or she is too. A marriage therapist once told my husband and I not to argue, we both work hard. It’s not a competition. No one is going to win at this – she said.
You can negotiate chores, you can express indignation because it feels like you’re the only one doing something. But don’t question how hard your partner is working. Thank your partner for the hard work they do, even if you can’t see it in person. Tell them thank you, he reports. Your Tango.
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