[ad_1]
After a lifetime of studying sex and relationships, sex and relationship expert Tracy Cox thinks that percentage is probably about right.
That is, what we look for in love is very different from what we hope to get from a spouse and potential father or mother of our children. He emphasizes that the dramatic love we think we are looking for often has huge ups and downs, insecurities, and intense passion. Cox says this is exactly what we seek when we are young, but not later, when we are more mature.
– Some of us are lucky enough to find these qualities in the person we live with. Others, however, are not so lucky and marry someone their family approves of and will follow them throughout their lives. This is all fine and dandy – but will it make us happy? “I’ve spoken to a lot of men and women who are not over their ‘person,'” Cox said.
Watch the video:
00:42
Double love, identical twins and twin relationships: ‘Sometimes we get confused’
Scott and his ex-love, who he didn’t stop loving
Scott (51) has more relationships… He is 24 years old, but still chasing his first love.
– Decades later, I never stopped loving her – That sounds lame – Scott said.
– I met Sarah at university, and we were in love for four years. Our friends dated each other and other people, but no one was interested in us. It was a strained relationship, and I had a lot of jealousy issues due to my past (my mother had many affairs). Even because of ego, I would get angry, which eventually led to our breakup. She wanted children and didn’t want to raise them in such a turbulent environment. But there is no doubt that we still loved each other even after the breakup – he said.
-Everyone in our college group is still friends, so I saw Sarah meet this other guy who was actually a nice guy. They had a lot of fun, and he was very nice to her. I wasn’t surprised when she got pregnant and got married. I was invited to a wedding, but I didn’t accept the invitation. “I couldn’t stand seeing her standing there saying her vows to someone else,” he recalled.
Scott was more… Was having sex with another person at the time.
– I say “we” because I was in relationships with other people, too. It’s a relationship that you fall into but cannot choose. She was cute and wanted to please me, but I never liked her. We went out, she got pregnant and wanted to keep the child, so I agreed. Today we are still together, 24 years have passed, and we have two children. But I never thought of marrying her. I respected her and loved her, but from my point of view it was a relationship without love. Honestly, I don’t know why she suffered like this – he explains.
He knew he would never stop loving her.
– She knows that I never stopped loving Sarah. I know that even if we broke up, I would never stop loving her. Now I’m 51 years old and I’ve lived my whole life with a heart that belonged to someone who was not mine. No matter how sad it sounds. Several friends know that I’m still in love with her and they keep telling me to move on, but I don’t want to. My heart longs for her. It’s a dramatic word, but the only one. It’s fitting – he admits.
However, the two have recently been rumored to be in a relationship. Meanwhile, Sarah and her husband have four children.
– We had a period of “aerobics”, it all started with her message. ČI heard from a friend that he had problems in his marriage. We met in the park and kissed, and she confessed to me that she considered me the love of her life. We cried, then went to the hotel, slept together, and then met a few more times – he said.
But she had four kids and he had two, and they didn’t want to hurt anybody.
– That was five years ago. When I realized she felt the same way, I felt more relaxed because at least I knew I hadn’t imagined such a great love, but… Was she real? Scott concluded.
Hayley believes sacrifice is okay
Hayley (40) has three children and has been happily married for 11 years.
– I am a practical, rational person. So I do not regret marrying the man who should have been the best husband. And father, instead of someone I felt passionate about. Having a child with someone is a choice that should be carefully considered. And this includes the victim. You consider yourself responsible for bringing a person into the world and raising a decent adult. This requires peace and stability. Most passionate loves are not calm and stable – she said.
She thought her first passionate relationship was too dramatic.
– I was not secure in my previous passionate relationship, he was paranoid and jealous of everyone. Every time we broke up, I felt like my life was over and I didn’t like that feeling. I ended up ending the relationship and I was so angry with men that it took me five years to go out on a date again. In fact, it was a matter of survival. If I stayed with him, I would not be happy in my life – emphasizes Hayley.
Now she is happily married to a reliable, financially secure man and the best role model she could ever hope for her children.
– They love their father, and I’ve grown to love him more and more over the years. But it’s not the same love I have for my ex. If you say that I have the strongest feelings for someone, my ex wins the “love of my life” award. But what I have now is true love. It’s based on solid foundations – friendship and respect – rather than lust and passion. I wouldn’t trade my husband for a million exes. No part of me believes that I’ve “settled down”. Making the reasonable choice was the best decision of my life – she concludes.
Esther ve… She had a lover for many years – her ex
Esther, 46, has one child and has been married for 18 years. She has been in a long relationship with her first love, Joe, for 15 years.
– Joe and I met when we were 15. We were inseparable for years, then I went to college and he went traveling. We made the usual agreement: you can both do whatever you want when you are apart, but you should be together again – she remembers.
Caron; She waited two years, but Joe still traveled.
– I accidentally got pregnant with the guy I was dating and my parents forced us to get married. I come from a conservative small town so we had to agree to this. But five years later, Joe came back home. He showed up at my door begging me to come back to him, I was happily married and had a child. My heart was broken and I had to tell him it was too late. “I thought he would leave town, but he stayed and four years later he got married” Esther said.
She always knew Joe was the love of her life.
– I remember feeling completely overcome with emotion and sadness when I saw him up close. I loved my husband, but Joe was the undisputed love of my life. I think there’s something wrong with first loves: you never really get over them. One time, we ran away from our families, got drunk, found each other, and we kissed immediately and realized we loved each other.
Now they have a much longer lasting relationship… 15 years.
– No one found out. Only one person knew: my most trusted friend, who knew him from the beginning. She was our go-to person if our standard meeting schedule needed to be changed. Otherwise we had no contact. We met in a safe place, not somewhere else. I can’t imagine that anyone would find out, unless my friend decided to tell someone – she said.
– I can’t live without him, but I can’t imagine leaving our family in a small town like this. This is the only solution we can think of at the moment. When the children grow up, maybe we can leave the city and finally live the life we deserve – Esther wrote, wrote Daily Mail.
Games of chance can be addictive. 18+.
[ad_2]
Source link
