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Here are four ways to strengthen your friendships, even those from a distance, and here’s why it’s so important. Research shows that lonely and socially isolated people are more likely to have health problems. But the reverse is also true.
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They were once told they couldn’t be twins because they had different skin colours. One mother said they cried but were OK now, adding that she thought the girls set a good example for others.
US Surgeon General Vivek Hallegere Murthy agrees that people who feel connected are more optimistic, creative and happy.
American author Karen Walrond cites her father as a shining example of this.
– Every week my father would meet with about eight friends from Trinidad on Zoom to make “friends,” that is, connections. Somehow, despite… …and I’m sure that’s how most people met… For over a decade, I didn’t know anything about that gathering until recently. “Karen, you’ve never seen anything like it,” said my mother, who would sometimes hide in a corner pretending to read but mostly just eavesdrop on their conversations. She described to me how they would constantly tease each other, bicker, laugh, talk over each other, and for hours, their voices would get louder and louder, and she would just sit and laugh. “Karen said.
She asked her father how he knew them.
– Oh, some of them are friends from high school, some are people I met during my career- her father explained.
Her father is a petroleum engineer, well-known in Trinidad given the importance of the energy industry to the country’s economy.
She wondered if everyone in the group was involved in oil and gas.
– No. One is a psychiatrist. One is a doctor, one is a dentist. And an economist. All of them had very successful careers, but now they are retired, even … for decades. Every Friday afternoon we met in a club called Cosmos Club in Port of Spain. Every time I was back home in Trinidad, I joined them, about four times a year. But then, when the coronavirus hit and Trinidad closed, the club closed too. So we started meeting on Zoom – he explains to his daughter.
She was interested in what they were talking about, so he explained to her that it was about “getting together,” but with a special emphasis on connecting with each other.
Karen thought of the word… ‘friendship‘It’s not just about getting to know a person. It’s about a person who touches your soul, and you touch his soul MBG.
– Well, what do you talk about when you’re together? – She asked him.
They discuss current issues in Trinidad or the world. He explained to her that although they joke around, the topics they discuss are serious.
– Because of the diversity of the group, there is always someone with an interesting perspective that the rest of us haven’t considered before. Often, after spending some time together, we send each other articles that further expand on topics and questions, and then the following Friday we revisit those topics or discuss new ones – the same thing.
But as this happened more and more frequently for a long time, she wondered what it was about this group of people that kept them coming back every week for over a decade… Dad thought for a moment.
– Well, a cynic might say we are a bunch of old people with nothing to do. But our love for our country keeps us going. Honestly, it is our friendship that keeps us going – says Karen’s father.
Considering he has a lot of friends, she wondered, “Why this particular group?”
Dad smiled and explained that there is an old philosophical saying that says when you have a friend, if your relationship ends, that friend takes a part of you with him.
– I think it’s also vice versa. I think when you stay connected with friends, they share something about themselves with you. And because of that, a part of you grows. I think the word … Friendship is more than just knowing someone. It’s about who someone has touched your soul and who you have touched, and I think he knows that they are the keeper of a part of you and you are the keeper of a part of them. That’s how each of us develops and becomes who we are and who we are meant to be. These friends constantly help me grow and develop – he sincerely apologized to her.
How to Build Stronger Relationships as You Age
– My dad’s relationships with his friends are enviable. Connections rooted in memory and shared history are a gift. Ironically, this is something I didn’t have because when I was a kid, we moved around a lot because of my dad’s career. Few of my childhood friendships lasted more than a year or two. So, given how important connection and belonging are to us, WelfareHow do I and others who, like me, moved around a lot as children develop good friendships and relationships, especially as we get older? – the author asks.
Murthy believes there are four key strategies that can help you strengthen your social connections.
First, we should spend at least 15 minutes a day connecting with people we care about. Second, when we connect, we give our full attention and block out distractions. Third, we should embrace solitude. Murty argues that the first step to building “quality” connections with others is building “quality” connections with ourselves. Finally, we should develop a habit of “doing”—doing something that involves our gifts to help a community or a meaningful cause. Furthermore, we experience a human connection that reminds us of our value and purpose.
Two young women holding ice creams and smiling |
Building habits around these four strategies will allow you to not only heal your social world, but also more… Create some rituals that help you progress as you age.
– While I may not have as rich a lifelong friendship as my father, I realized I have at least two of them after seeing these strategies. I started applying them to his life. I got better and better at morning meditation and intention setting, so that solitude became a form of daily enjoyment. Also, thanks to the daily habit of asking myself how I can feel more purposeful, I was always looking for ways to be of service. But the first two strategies, focusing on the people I love every day, without distractions, seemed more challenging, so now I draw attention to them, because the issue of loneliness should not be taken lightly. Social connections not only increase the satisfaction in our lives, but they also have a significant impact on our health – Karen concludes.
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