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What have you learned about yourself through raising children?
Valentine: (Smile) She would say I’m a great father…husband…I’m not so sure (laugh).
Huiqing: He is very patient, which is good for the kids. The kids gain a lot of confidence from him.
Max was home-schooled, as were his siblings Carl and Valentine Jr. Did you ever doubt the path you were on?
Huiqing: Unlike him (Valentin), I was always hesitant to enroll them and questioned whether I was doing the right thing.
I faced a lot of challenges, especially when both his family and I were asking me to send our kids to a traditional school.
They actually gave it to me at that time.
That must have been very difficult.
Huiqing: If he and I had had doubts, we would not have continued to homeschool our children.
I think it’s normal when you do something unconventional, you always have doubts because there is no benchmark.
Everyone feels uncomfortable, myself included, but I’ve learned that if you tolerate discomfort for a while, as Max said, you’ll be surprised at what you can do.
Valentine: Every child is different and in our case, we were lucky enough to see that they didn’t need a lot of structure.
I would say that education requires a lot of love and good role models, and a lot of that happens within the family.
Is Max an easy kid to raise?
Huiqing: The easiest!
Valentine: We couldn’t ask for an easier time (laugh).
don’t want squeeze He. When he was about 15 months old, I tried to get him to do something and it made him very distressed and tearful. This made me realize that forcing them to do something is not the approach I would take.
Huiqing: I think our kids love their freedom. You can’t force them to do something they don’t want to do. Even Max, who is usually very easygoing, is like that.
They have our blood flowing in their veins!laughing out loud)
HWEE KENG, you mentioned that Max is very afraid of losing. Is this his most Singaporean trait?
Huiqing: Tell me! He is very competitive by nature and has never liked the feeling of failure since he was a child.
You know what…he hates losing more than he loves winning (laugh).
it yes kiasu. Different from queuing.
How is your second son, Carl?
Huiqing: He is very independent!laughter)
Valentine: Even at six months old, he wouldn’t let me hold him if he didn’t want to.
I swear the first thing he said was “Put me down!”
Huiqing: He loves to do his own thing and you can’t imitate his style.
I remember trying to beat him up, and he said, “Mom, you don’t need to beat me up,” and he went and ran (towards) the wall.
One time I tried to lock him in the bathroom, and I got scared and went to open the door.
He just said, “Mom, if you want to lock me in, please close the door.”
He will surprise you every time.
Huiqing: He once asked me, “You want to use the cane, you want to use the belt. Are you going to brand me like a bull next time?”
Valentine: We quickly realized that taking a gentle and loving approach would make more progress.
Huiqing: The more gentle you are to him, the better the effect. The more you chase him, the farther he will run.
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