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Invisible heartbreak: Grandmas and the TikTok ban

Broadcast United News Desk
Invisible heartbreak: Grandmas and the TikTok ban

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In the vast world of social media, where trends come and go, there’s an unexpectedly sad story of a grandmother who found happiness in the most unexpected place: TikTok. It’s a story that transcends the digital divide and delves into the lives of those who, despite countless ups and downs, have found a glimmer of happiness in the world of short videos and dance challenges.
I noticed that my grandmothers were happiest when they were singing or dancing.

The lady of our house would often be lost in the rhythm of Asare or Kathe Bhaka (folk songs) while we recorded those unfettered moments on video. She would jokingly chide us, pushing the camera away and saying, “Stop recording! It’s embarrassing.” However, when she looked at herself on the screen, her eyes would sparkle with embarrassment and immense happiness.

About two years ago, my 84-year-old grandmother first expressed a desire for a mobile phone. She knew that a mobile phone could play songs and stream videos. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, my grandmother passed away before she was able to fully explore the world of mobile devices.
That’s when Mamagar’s grandmother took center stage, with her ability to sing and dance.

Initially hesitant to venture into video production, she often asked herself, “What would people say when they see this?” The advent of TikTok during the COVID-19 pandemic provided her with the answer she needed. As she browsed the platform, she saw people older than her dancing and singing, which gave her the confidence to share her talent.

With her new enthusiasm, she asked us to film her dancing and post it on TikTok. Our response was heartening—praising her infectious enthusiasm and her dancing skills. Soon, at every family gathering, she would ask, “Aren’t you going to film your grandma?”

However, my grandmother had little time as she juggled various responsibilities on the farm. She once disdained the importance of a cell phone, but she found solace in choosing songs that resonated with her heart, expressing herself through dance and song.

This was the most cultured and independent I had ever seen her, after decades of hiding her desire for responsibility under the weight of domestic chores.
Widowed nearly three decades ago, she seems to have given up on wearing makeup, and lately she has started dressing up before shooting videos.

She lives in a village near Nagatonga, where life seems confined. TikTok has opened her eyes to a different world and removed the loneliness that looms over her.

Then, the government suddenly banned TikTok, which was a blow to me. At that moment, I thought of my grandmother and her generation, who finally found a medium to release their repressed dreams and latent desires. Those grandmothers had always played supporting roles behind the scenes, and they learned to make themselves the protagonists of the second half of their lives.
As they struggled to adapt, they were suddenly accused of “undermining social harmony.” Unlike us, they couldn’t master the intricacies of VPNs or form strong opinions about government decisions via Facebook or Twitter. Overnight, the vibrant grandmothers who once thrived on TikTok found themselves quietly making video calls, seeking solace in the green light of their granddaughters’ messaging apps.

In a world where we were free to use TikTok and express ourselves however we wanted, the sudden ban left a void. Hearing my grandmother’s voice now made me realize that our grandmothers, who dedicated their lives to it, were treated unfairly.
I write these words in the dead of night with a heart filled with sadness. Tomorrow, this post may disappear into the sea of ​​social media, but the question remains – did our grandmothers fail to fight back, or did they simply choose not to? This question echoes the silent, invisible heartbreak that generation endured as they found joy in the most unexpected corners of the digital world.

(Translated from the Nepali original by Swechhya)

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