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I’m always amazed at how bad the coffee is in France. The French make some of the best food in the world, and of course the best wine. They have the most sophisticated coffee culture in the world. They also border Italy, The home of premium coffee.
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What’s going on? You have to assume that everyone in France wants their coffee to be too bitter, too weak or too watery, which is probably the weirdest thing.
But France is not the only one. Spain is also World-class cuisineAlso a producer of quality drinks, not too far from Italy, but the coffee is terrible. Too bitter. Too spicy. The situation in the German-speaking part is not much better.
Of course, there’s no denying that the author of this column is even worse than the Italians for this particularly grouchy group: the Australians, who have quickly become the world’s most annoying coffee drinkers.
Have you ever heard Australian athletes complain about coffee at the Olympics? Not likely. It’s not because they’re too tolerant or too calm, but because the Australian team not only sneaked in their own espresso machine, they also brought their own barista.
This was no joke: the Australian team brought all the usual sports and science equipment, plus three live humans making flat whites for everyone.
If Italian commentators want to have a nice cappuccino (let’s face it: Italian cappuccino is very similar to an Australian flat white), they should put on their green and gold shirts and sneak into the Australian camp.
This is not surprising, as Australian coffee is of good quality. Aside from a few regional outlets and large chain service stations, there aren’t many bad flat whites or blacks left on the market.
So when Australians travel, like the Italian commentator, we want good coffee, and we want other countries to have that coffee too.
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Spoiler alert: coffee in other countries isn’t great. While the U.S. has made great strides in places like the Pacific Northwest, for the most part, American coffee is terrible—too sweet, too milky, too big (on the bright side, you do pay a fortune for it).
Coffee produced in Canada Tim Hortonsand that’s all you need to know.
The UK has been improving recently, thanks to Former coloniesAn embrace of coffee culture, though good luck if you walk into a Costa or Caffe Nero (or any other coffee chain in the UK).
New Zealand coffee used to be great, but — don’t hate me, Kiwis — something weird happened there in the last few years. Everyone started over-roasting their beans, giving coffee — even a smooth flat white — a bitter flavor usually associated with losing sports teams.
Which countries are good? Argentinian coffee The quality is very high thanks to the Italian immigrants. The Ethiopian coffee is excellent. Vietnamese coffee Great, as long as you don’t mind adding sugar. Coffee in Japan is good, as is everything in Japan very good.
Even the Italians wouldn’t be mad.
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