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The 2024 election is already historic for many reasons, from assassination attempts to last-minute withdrawals from the race, the country’s first Black female candidate is expected to win the Democratic nomination, and perhaps the first time in American history that a vice presidential candidate is rumored to have had sex with a couch.
Let’s get this out of the way: JD Vance did not say he had sex with his couch. The rumor began as a joke on X, when user @rickrudescalves tweeted on July 15, “Not sure, but he may be the first VP candidate to admit to having sex with an inside-out latex glove wedged between two couch cushions in a NYT bestseller (vance, Hillbilly Elegy, pp. 179-181).” The tweet appears to have come directly from Vance’s Memoirs, Countryside Elegyleading many people to believe it was true, but if they read pages 179 to 181, they would only find Vance talking about his time at Ohio State University.
Yet so many people bought into the trash post that it took on a life of its own, with countless memes popping up on TikTok and X. “We can’t let JD Vance anywhere near the Oval Office,” One person tweeted Attached are pictures of the multiple sofas in the room. Another tie The camera zooms in on Vance, who stares longingly at a leather couch as Barry White’s “Never, Never Gonna Give Ya Up” plays. When the rumor spread widely enough for the Associated Press to publish a lengthy explanation titled “No, JD Vance Didn’t Have Sex with the Couch,” another Citing it and referring to the infamous Bill Clinton denial, wrote“I have no connection with the department.”
It is common for rumors about celebrities that are objectively untrue but are funny or entertaining to go viral online (a famous example is Happy actor Lea Michele is secretly illiterate), whether deliberately provocative, like Vance and the couch, or through a game of digital telephone, all the context and facts are not translated. Most of the time, rumors spread because people really want to believe them. In Vance’s case, he wrote a coming-of-age novel, which means that a common trope (teen boys trying to have sex with inanimate objects) makes sense in some way, coupled with his belief in some Very weird view About sex and gender.
Curiously, the AP article debunking the rumor has been removed from its website — a highly unusual decision that’s usually reserved for serious factual or editorial errors. As an AP spokesperson told Vox via email, “This story was not sent to our clients via Wire and did not go through our standard editorial process. We are investigating how this happened.” Some still speculate that perhaps the AP’s commitment to fact-checking is so great that Vance didn’t write about it in the article, but The country folk’s lament, have No hard evidence He didn’t try to have sex with the couch.
Even stranger, the couch joke was just one of the three most offensive things Vance said in his first 10 days as a vice presidential candidate, and the only one that has not been proven true. Editing In 2021, he went viral for comments he made on Tucker Carlson in which he complained that the United States is “literally run by a bunch of childless cat ladies” who are miserable with their lives, mentioning Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. “How does it make sense that the entire future of the Democratic Party is controlled by people without children, and that we’re handing our country over to people who don’t actually have a direct relationship with it,” he said, referring to Harris’ two stepchildren, whom she raises with her husband, Doug Emhoff. Vance then tried to pass off Trump’s campaign rally as a “political conspiracy” against her. Make an embarrassing joke About drinking Diet Mountain Dew, and how “(Democrats) are going to call it racism.”
Vance has Holding extreme views On sex and gender; he opposed abortion, even in cases of rape and incest, and Compared to slavery. he Voted against A bill to ensure access to IVF services and recommend No Pornography. he called Universal child care is “class warfare against ordinary people.” Oppose legislation to codify same-sex marriage rights And suggest People in “violent” marriages You shouldn’t get divorced.
He is also part of a group of young intellectual conservatives, loosely referred to as “The New Right” whose main project seems to be making techno-fascism and involuntary celibacy seem cool and edgy. On X, which Vance spends a lot of time working on, He once followed Some white nationalist accounts, many of which glorified bodybuilding and fascism, promoted Great Replacement TheoryIn other words, he’s the kind of guy you’d imagine would claim that couch sex robots are the beginning of a beautiful future without women.
Pointing out the obvious oddities between Vance and Trump now appears to be one of the main Democratic strategies against Republicans. And it’s working: Minnesota Governor Tim Waltz Praise for his appearance During his appearance on MSNBC, he highlighted how “weird” the Trump and Vance platforms were, while Harris’ campaign was going viral. Its statement Reporting on Trump’s Fox News appearance, it asked, “How is Donald Trump?” and listed key conclusions like, “Trump is old and weird?” This kind of blunt, unflinching candor was once a boon to the Trump camp, which delighted in offending “blue-haired,” “soybean milk” liberals whom they saw as shortsighted and out of touch with reality. But when we see someone like Vance spouting opinions that are so antisocial, so bizarre, and so far outside the realm of normal political discourse, the most effective response is often a simple “What the hell is going on?”
I don’t really need to explain why everyone believes that the joke about the vice presidential candidate having sex with the couch is funny, it just is. Kamala Harris Becomes Pop Icon for ‘Brat’ Summer“JD Vance fucked the couch” is just another absurdity in one of the craziest election summers in recent memory, where the fact is so much crazier than fiction that the fiction starts to seem believable. No, JD Vance did not fuck the couch. But he will always be remembered as the vice presidential candidate who was rumored to have fucked the couch. It’s weird.
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