[ad_1]
WARNING: DISTURBING CONTENT
In March 2019, Philip Polkinghorne and his wife Pauline Hanna had an argument in which the latter said the past twenty-five years of their life together had been completely wasted, and Hanna wrote down her desperate thoughts during the argument.
“Very sad, very sad – in fact, very sad,” she said in a Microsoft Word document – published this morning. Polkinghorne murder trial.
“I’ve been so wrong for all these years (27 years), he’s the only person who’s ever truly loved me and put me first. I’m number one in somebody’s life – just like he’s number one in mine – are we wrong? God, what a horrible prospect – if this is what I’ve gotten wrong, I can’t live with it.”
The news came as jurors spent the second day of in-depth investigations The contents of the couple’s laptopheard testimony from Constable Madeline Palmer, who provided 1,200 pages of documents, which were then whittled down to a 92-page booklet of evidence.
Polkinghorne, 71, has been on trial for the past four weeks, accused of strangling Hannah, 63, at their home in Remuera on the morning of April 5, 2021, and then staging the scene to make it look like a suicide by hanging. He has pleaded not not guilty and has insisted through his lawyers that his wife committed suicide after years of depression and mounting stress.
Story continues after live blog
The story continues
The laptops reveal scenes of a couple in relationship crisis: Hannah suspected infidelity, Polkinghorne frequently sought out sex workers and his money and attention were focused on Sydney escort Madison Ashton. Also included were sex tapes of Polkinghorne and Ashton and a 2019 “goal setting” document from the surgeon, in which he listed one of his immediate goals as “staying away from cocaine, cannabis, heroin, ecstasy and methamphetamine”.
But the document Hannah filed in March 2019 was the most direct reference to self-harm jurors have ever seen.
The words “I can’t live” are the fourth to last paragraph of the three-page document, which Hannah appears to have last read on August 29, 2020. The letter ends:
“I try my best to look after Philip and everyone – but sometimes it doesn’t go right. He’s my life, why doesn’t he understand that? While I take second place (third, actually) when it comes to looking after the kids, he helps me – I spend hours trying to do the right thing for him. He spends hours looking after my well-being, too – but why can’t I match his efforts? I don’t know what to do. I do know this is unsustainable for Philip and me.
“I couldn’t express my love, my admiration, my inability to return his love, I treasured the fact that he loved me first more than anything I ever did – I was lost….
“???????”
Defense attorney Ron Mansfield noted that “their lives were made public through this trial,” but the letters appeared to be “private correspondence between a couple who seemed to be having problems at the time.” He suggested the jury should keep that in mind.
Palmer today also referred again to two letters the couple had written to each other, both listed as being written in January 2020. But she confirmed today that the Polkinghorne letter appeared to have been written in late December 2019, around the time Hannah allegedly told friends she had been unable to find her husband over Christmas and had to lie to his family about his whereabouts.
“Over the past few months I have felt like our relationship has grown more and more distant,” the lengthy letter began.
“I finally realized, you don’t change,” he said, before listing off the many criticisms he had of Hannah, including her spending habits when he was making twice as much as she was. “I now knew the cycle of our relationship, verbal spats, crossing boundaries, sharp words, then declarations of love, only to fall back into the same path a week or month later. My choices seemed pretty simple: accept my fate or move on and break up.”
The letter ended by saying that he would leave immediately for a three-day “Move On or Advance” retreat.
“I have no idea what will come out of this retreat, but frankly I certainly can’t go on without some kind of insight,” he wrote. “If there is a pill that will make this easier, don’t worry, I’ll take the bottle!!!”
During cross-examination of Palmer this morning, Mansfield noted that not all couples write to each other when they go through emotional ups and downs. Palmer admitted that she had had disagreements that led to domestic violence on several occasions during her career.
Mansfield also noted that five different drafts of Hannah’s responses to the letter were found on her computer.
The first version ended with this: “If you want to make a change (like a divorce), please do it before January 31 so I can make arrangements. I will be 62 in February and I don’t have many options. Right now I feel very scared, confused, sad and extremely lonely.”
Future drafts did not include this paragraph, although a similar line was added to the beginning of the letter: “But right now, I feel very scared, confused, sad, and alone, so I apologize if this letter is not as coherent as you would like it to be.”
The final draft of Hannah’s response ended like this: “I love you unconditionally, flaws and all – and hope that you do the same, so that we can once again enjoy each other as partners, best friends, confidants, and lovers. You say that my behavior demonstrates none of those things – and I ask that you reconsider in light of what I have discussed.”
“I’m so sorry you’re feeling so down – you’re everything to me and your pain is very sad to me.”
Mansfield also pointed out to the police in cross-examination what Hannah had searched online four months before her death: “Why are people trampling on me.” The lawyer asked the witness if she knew whether the search was related to the couple’s relationship or to a colleague. She said she didn’t know.
One of Polkinghorne’s defence arguments was that Hannah’s depression was exacerbated at the time of her death due to the stressful job she was doing overseeing the rollout of the Covid-19 vaccine.
Mansfield also noted that a search of his client’s laptop revealed a large amount of pornography, but “for the sake of balance” he noted that Hannah had also searched online for terms such as “sex”, “escort” and “dating”.
The trial will continue this afternoon before Judge Graham Lang and a jury.
Captain Craig is a reporter based in Oakland covering courts and judicial affairs. He joined The Herald He took up the position in 2021 and has covered court news since 2002 from three newsrooms in the United States and New Zealand.
this The Herald will be covering the case in a daily podcast, Defendant: Polkinghorne CaseYou can follow the podcast at Love Radio, Apple Podcasts, Spotifypass front page feed, or wherever you get your podcasts.
[ad_2]
Source link
