My husband indulges himself – I fantasize about men younger than me

Dear Abby: My husband is smart, elegant, loyal, a great father, handsome at 46, and without a wrinkle.

He’s been in financial trouble for about a decade and he’s let himself go. I respect him, but when I tried to help him behave better he said, “I don’t care. Go away.” I thought that was very immature.

I started to feel resentful because I had been with him for so long and contributed 50% to our finances and 100% to his dreams as he moved us all over the US.

I’m 42 and I’m starting to find younger men attractive. While I would never cheat on my partner, I can’t help but miss the man of my dreams.

He doesn’t care and it hurts. People think he’s my dad when they see him. Please help me. — Miss the real him

Dear Missing Persons: Have you ever thought that a talented, elegant, loyal, handsome 46-year-old man who has been “stuck” for the past 10 years might be frustrated when he gives up his looks?

He may need a mental change, not a physical one. Tell him you love him and that you’re concerned about his mental and physical health, and try to convince him to tell his doctor how he feels.

If you do, this might be the answer to your problem.

Dear Abby: My sister passed away from cancer seven years ago. Her daughter and I have always been close – doing things together, traveling together, etc.

Four years ago she started dating a guy who thought he was better than everyone. I have met him but have not met the rest of his family. She always makes excuses.

She told me last weekend that they were going somewhere special so he could propose to her and that he wanted to borrow a ring he had already given her (which I thought was weird).

Then I saw on Facebook that his whole family was coming to this special moment, but I was not invited.

I was devastated. If he had planned this and not asked me, he would have been a jerk. But it’s another thing for my niece to know about it and ostracize me.

I’m sad and angry. I don’t know what to say to her now. I think she’s ashamed or embarrassed that I don’t drive a fancy car. — Virginia’s Neglected Aunt

Dear Aunt: You say your niece’s boyfriend thinks he’s “better than everyone else,” and you suspect you were left out of the engagement because you’re not as wealthy as the family he comes from.

But if he doesn’t have the money to buy your niece an engagement ring and needs to borrow the ring he already gave her, then you may be overestimating his net worth.

I can’t blame you for feeling this way, please realize that you have every right to express those feelings to the thoughtless niece you befriended.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren (aka Jeanne Phillips) and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. You can contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or by mail at PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.