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International Editorials.- Experience of a family member, friend, partner or loved one taking a medication Frustration This can be challenging and difficult for your inner circle. It is normal to have fear, pain and uncertainty and doubt about what to do and how to help the person.
“In the case of a person suffering from depression, the environment can play an important role in terms of support and emotional containment, understanding that it is a disease, helping to consult and follow appropriate treatment, providing support and companionship,” said graduate Josefina Pérez del Cerro, member of the INECO Department of Psychotherapy.
In line with this, the professional added: “Knowing and understanding what depression is brings us closer to our loved ones, allowing us to better understand what is going on with them and get closer to accepting, understanding and being there for them.”
In this sense, it is crucial to psychoeducate the patient’s family, friends, partner or other loved ones so that they understand the diagnosis, what the main symptoms are, how to act in a crisis situation, when to seek help from a professional, etc. This can be done by consulting a health professional (psychologist or psychiatrist) and by reading recommended evidence-based materials (books, articles, websites).
It’s important to understand the diagnosis at a general level, but it’s also important to understand the specifics (what our loved one is experiencing specifically and what their resources and strengths are). This will allow you to be better prepared to provide the necessary help at the right time and be there for you in the best way possible.
Next, Perez del Cerro shares some strategies and advice for helping and being there for a loved one struggling with depression.
Sometimes the best thing to do is not to offer solutions, advice or suggestions to others. “Properly”but it can be more valuable to be present and offer help to others: asking them how they are feeling, what they need, what is bothering them or making them uncomfortable, what would make them feel better.
It’s important to do this with curiosity and openness. This person’s feelings and needs may be different than what we believe, or what’s good for us.
Being there for her and validating her emotions will make her feel understood, accepted, and heard. Some examples of things to say are: “I understand, this is difficult,” “I’m here for whatever you need,” “Do you want us to talk?”, “How can I help you?”
Avoid comments and phrases that invalidate (minimize or trivialize) the person’s discomfort or pain, such as: “It’s no big deal,” “Just try to stay healthy,” “Why does this affect you so much?”, “It’s a matter of will. You have to work hard to get better,” “It’s all in your head. Think positive.”
This can make the person feel judged, misunderstood, frustrated, and/or guilty, which can increase their suffering.
Encourage her to do the activity, but don’t put pressure or push it, and respect her limits. Suggest activities that are (or were) enjoyable for the person. Examples: taking a walk together, eating together, going to a movie together, etc. Start slowly, with activities that are less challenging or difficult and that were more rewarding in the past.
When facing negative comments from others, such as criticism or self-blame, for example: “I can’t”, “I’m incompetent”, “I’m useless”providing a friendlier and more sympathetic appearance. For example: “I understand how you feel, it’s hard/difficult…you’re doing the best you can”.
Positively reinforce achievements and encourage people to reach new goals.
Promote self-determination. Give people the possibility to make decisions, even in their daily lives.
“These are just some general suggestions or recommendations on how we can act to help or accompany a family member, friend or partner suffering from depression. It is important to personalize it according to the needs and particularities of the loved one, integrating the contribution and advice of experts (psychologists and psychiatrists),” concludes the INECO professionals.
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