Family War Zone – Island Times

Are you craving for more in life?

This column was created in response to rampant domestic violence on the island. That was 22 years ago. Domestic violence is still rampant. We try to be nice to everyone, but does that mean we are self-destructive?

I knew a wife who died of cancer a few years ago. Her husband was emotionally and mentally abusive to her. Every morning between 6 and 7 it was like a war zone. The morning air was filled with chaotic noises and the explicit words he spoke to his wife were cruel and horrible. My brain heard it all. I could hear the roosters crowing in the morning as she died.

Finally she

Dodge bullets every morning.

I think she survived because everything seemed normal, but it wasn’t. Her body developed cancer, which eventually took her life.

A British researcher said that studying individual cells (cancer) is like understanding traffic conditions by studying the internal combustion of a car.

The trauma I experienced from my neighbor in the morning has impacted my brain. I choose to cleanse my mind with the truth (the Word of God). Children who witness violence can also be traumatized. The problem with trauma is that it lingers, as if you are still in danger days or even years later (PTSD). I have had to express my feelings in a journal to seek ways to heal my brain. Otherwise I go into survival mode, which is stressful. Stress causes many changes in the body. It causes a rapid rise in cortisol, which helps a person react to immediate danger. However, if cortisol levels remain elevated for a long time, it can lead to weight gain, high blood pressure, and diabetes. I suspect I will also develop cancer

Dr. Bessell van der Kolk wrote a book called The Body Never Forgets, which so eloquently articulates how overwhelming experiences affect the development of brain, mind, and body awareness, all of which are so closely connected. The resulting derailment has a profound impact on the ability to love and work.

Trauma changes the brain.

Esme Fuller-Thomson of the Factor-Inwentash School of Social Work and Department of Family and Community Medicine at the University of Toronto said that physical abuse in childhood is associated with a 49 per cent increased risk of developing cancer in adulthood.

We are so complex—awesome and wonderful—and it makes me realize why Jesus commands us to love one another.

The Lord teaches us to love the unlovely.

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