After the tragedy in Alytus 14 years ago – Important signs to watch out for: Avoid one of the following

Those who attempt suicide actually want to live. They just don’t know how to make life less painful,” says Dr. Jurgita Smiltė Jasiulionė.

According to Dr. JS Jasiulionės, Childline is mainly contacted by teenagers aged 12 to 15. Last year, the organization received more than 3,000 calls. suicide This equates to about 10 calls per day.

However, psychologists explain that suicide can also occur at a younger age as a solution to end inner pain. The desire to end one’s life can be caused by a variety of reasons.

“Those who have suicidal thoughts are often very lonely children who have chronic feelings of isolation, a perceived lack of care and love from their family and who have some additional difficulties getting along with their peers.

This could be bullying, some kind of conflict situation, betrayal by a friend, bereavement, the breakdown of an important relationship or actual loss when someone dear or close dies, or even a crisis situation triggered by the loss of a pet. Sometimes we do hear that some kind of experience of abuse is underlying suicidal thoughts – emotional, physical, sometimes sexual,” the interviewer said.

Children and adolescents convey in one way or another the deterioration of their well-being. Sometimes they talk directly about suicide. For example, you do not shy away from saying that everything is meaningless and you just want to die and lie down without waking up. Sometimes we can also notice various signs on social networks, such as messages that the day when everything will end will soon come. There is also a growing attention to the topic of death and a systematic and sustained interest in it.

“I’m not talking about some one-off question. Really, kids in adolescence and school age have questions like, what if I die, what if you die, what happens after you die?

In fact, there can be a variety of questions, but if we notice that a teenager is really interested in this topic systematically and continuously, he is looking for, and sometimes, what we also find or hear from teenagers who call us is that they are even searching on the Internet for information about suicide methods, less painful ways of dying, etc., ”said Dr. JS Giacchiulione.

Another sign can be a sudden change in mood, according to Viktorija Andreikėnaitė, a lecturer at the Association of Teachers of Suicide Prevention. As she says, sometimes a person is in complete despair, exuding a sense of hopelessness, and suddenly, one way or another, the mood changes to a good one.

“This is also a serious sign, it can mean that a person has just made the decision to commit suicide and sees such a way out, so he is relieved. This usually happens before the decision is made and before the actual suicidal act,” explains V. Andreikėnaitė.

The interlocutor stressed that if you notice these disturbing signs, it is very important to react promptly and act sensitively and seriously, trying to understand the patient’s feelings.

“The best way to respond is to ask a direct question. Say I’ve noticed such and such happening, maybe you’ve changed in some way – do you seem angry, or you get angry at certain times and you weren’t like that before, so I want to ask if you’re having suicidal thoughts? That’s the most appropriate way to respond,” says V. Andreikėnaitė.

As Dr. JS Jasiulionė points out, in the eyes of parents and those around them, by asking teenagers direct questions, we can unconsciously promote suicidal thoughts. Therefore, direct questioning is often avoided.

“I want to reassure adults – children live in an environment with information overload, and they have many opportunities to hear the idea, see, learn about someone committing suicide. This very direct question will show more that you as an adult are ready to talk, that you are not afraid of the topic, and that you can definitely talk about this idea if it comes up,” said psychologist Dr. JS Giacchiulione.

When children and teens open up, it’s important to respond appropriately to their problems. Experts stress that young people’s feelings and problems should not be underestimated, even if they may seem insignificant to adults.

“One thing we do as adults is we fear these thoughts and immediately dismiss them, saying, what are you talking about, everything is fine here, you can’t possibly want to die here. That’s obviously the first thing you don’t really feel scared about and realize it is — maybe this thought could mean situational thinking when a person doesn’t know what to do, but it could also mean that a teen is really thinking about wanting to end the internal pain,” adds Dr. JS Giacchiulione.

Sometimes, someone who is struggling with suicide may not feel comfortable talking about it, and those trying to help may not want to be open or reveal their emotional state.

“It’s important to ask the child then: Who do you want to talk to? It can be hard for us parents to accept that they don’t trust me, they don’t tell me, but the most important thing is not whether I get the information, but that the most important thing is that the child gets help”, says Dr. JS Giacchiulione.

In addition, parents can call the Parents Hotline, where experts will provide advice and ideas on how to talk to and help their children. You can also contact the psychologist at your child’s school and seek help from a mental health center. In addition, as V. Andreikėnaitė explains, being around people who have suicidal thoughts can also be difficult, so they should also seek help.

“Many people who are suffering speak out their thoughts but do not agree to seek help – they resist, maybe they have some negative experiences. It is important for people who offer help to consult someone. Because it is a lot of pressure to have someone nearby who is thinking about suicide and that person does not know what to do but still does not agree to seek help. Firstly, it is about talking about your tension and life, and secondly, you can consult a specialist about how to deal with people with suicidal thoughts,” says V. Andreikėnaitė.

If you manage to talk to a person who is suicidal and he opens up and sincerely admits that the only way to end his suffering is to commit suicide – you should not only try to listen to him, spend time to solve his problems and not underestimate them, but also seek professional help.

“For others, a psychologist, psychiatrist, priest might be more helpful, or someone they can talk to, but it’s important to have someone who can provide professional help and make a safety plan so that the person knows what to do if suicidal thoughts surface”, assures V. Andreikėnaitė.

For teenagers and children who suffer from various problems and have suicidal thoughts, psychologist Dr. JS Jasiulionė reminds: when difficult feelings and thoughts arise, emotional support services are always waiting for the call.

“Children’s line“Open from 11am to 11pm every day If difficult feelings or thoughts arise during the night, remember there is a Youth Line that operates 24/7 and is always available to provide really quick emotional support.

I really, really want to encourage you to call and talk to an adult who cares about you and is willing to talk to children and teenagers about various topics and various difficulties. After talking, you will definitely find ways to support yourself”, added J. Smiltė Jasiulionė.

You can find more information on the topic of suicide and ways to help yourself and your loved ones. here.