
Sarah Jane is not one to fit a stereotype. “I like to do things that people don’t expect,” said the host of Netflix’s hit series “Love Me” Mind your manners “I’m the etiquette expert for going to clubs. I’m the etiquette expert for not wearing makeup unless I have to. I’m the etiquette expert for designing products for your vulva,” she said with a laugh last week over a Zoom call from her home in the eastern city of Hangzhou.
In case you’re wondering, this “vulva product” is Antevoltaa groundbreaking line of intimate care products formulated with Chinese herbs, available at Galeries Lafayette in Macau. But Hong Kong-born Ho is better known for her Daytime Emmy-nominated etiquette series, in which she helps people embrace their new and improved selves through good old-fashioned etiquette. She has also published A book on this topic.
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As viewers and readers quickly discover, etiquette means more than just using a fork correctly. For Ho, etiquette means navigating cultural differences and building meaningful relationships, no matter how intimidating the circumstances they find themselves in. (Although she’ll also teach you How to Eat a Banana If you really want to know, do it in front of the royal family.
Ho grew up in Papua New Guinea, Hong Kong and the UK, an unconventional upbringing that fuelled her interest in culture, while her late mother – “a fantastic hostess” – inspired her love of etiquette. After graduating from Harvard Business School with an MBA in 2012, Ho quickly spotted an opportunity in the world’s next superpower. “All eyes were on China and the Chinese – and how they behaved,” she said.
Please continue reading to find out more.
This interview has been edited for brevity.
Why is etiquette so important?
Etiquette is the glue that holds society together. Let’s review. Why do people shake hands? [In ancient times] This is to show that we have no weapons in our hands. Why do people clink glasses when they toast? At that time, they clink glasses with so much enthusiasm that the wine spills into each other’s glasses. This is to show that the host has not poisoned the guest.
This year, the ritual is becoming more and more popular. New York Times and New York Magazine Issue etiquette guidelines, Fashion Restored the name Oh, behave better! Many Americans have told me that they feel something is fundamentally wrong with their country, that rudeness is rampant. Every time I turn on the news, I see news of mass violence around the world. Our society is breaking down.
But does etiquette still matter in the digital age?
Absolutely… With the acceleration of the digital age and the advent of digital dating apps, everyone now meets their significant other online. This warrants a chapter on etiquette.
My book is divided into five chapters (Social Life, Dating and Relationships, Family, Career, Food, and Travel), and at the end of each chapter I’ve included a sub-chapter focusing on digital etiquette.
How would you define modern etiquette?
Do this so that those around you feel at ease. This leads to a sense of inclusion and belonging, which is what we as humans seek.
You have to distinguish between etiquette and morality. I’m not trying to teach people morality. How you want to live your life and who you want to be is up to you. What I teach you through etiquette is the tools and skills for how to make progress in these five areas and how to build meaningful relationships.
What are some common misconceptions about etiquette?
Many people think that etiquette means they have to be fake, can’t say what they really think, can’t do what they want, but the opposite is true. Etiquette is empowering and empowering.
When you identify the most important person or potential client in the room, etiquette gives you the confidence to approach that person, know how to introduce yourself, start a conversation, and make a good impression in a very short time. It also makes you sensitive and aware of when and how to end a conversation – you don’t want to monopolize that person because that would leave a bad impression.
Etiquette can also help you set boundaries and not do things that make you uncomfortable or offend others because it all depends on how you present yourself.


What are the most common etiquette mistakes you see?
Don’t know how to introduce people. I often go to parties, maybe even someone’s house party, and they have guests over, but they don’t introduce the guests to everyone else. They just stand there, listless. If the guests are very confident, they will be comfortable introducing themselves to everyone else, but most people are not.
Every time you organize an event, whether it’s a business meeting or a family reunion, you’re creating a community. When you think about what people need to feel a sense of community, first they need to know each other’s names. Ideally, you can find common ground between two people because that’s what will get them talking.
Can etiquette adapt to cultural differences?
It is very important to follow the host and be sensitive to the country you are in. When you come into contact with a culture, you should do as I say, be on the spot, which is observation in anthropological terms.
We navigate multiple microcultures every day: from our families to our friends, different friend groups, and even different departments in the office. This requires you to observe and adjust your own behavior, even a little, so that those around you feel comfortable – which makes you feel comfortable around them, which goes back to belonging.


How does the opportunity to star in a Netflix series sound to you? Mind your manners How will the series be born?
This was a godsend for me. I had already done some media work in China, with my own show on Beijing TV, and I really enjoyed conveying cultural perspectives and etiquette to a wider audience through the screen.
In 2018, a production company in Singapore called Beach House Pictures emailed me and said, “We think what you’re doing is really interesting, can we pitch your idea to some streaming platforms?” So they pitched me to Netflix, and Netflix bought the show. They saw that I saw ritual as the highest form of health, as a way to promote real personal growth.
How has the series impacted your career?
We were nominated Daytime Emmy Awards So I went to the Emmys last year, and it was an incredible experience. I’ve always been a very international person, but in the ten years since I graduated from Harvard Business School in 2012, I’ve been very focused on China.
The Netflix show gave me the opportunity to open up and rediscover my Western side. In 2016, I published a book on Chinese etiquette, and this year, it gave me the opportunity to publish a book in English.
The next 10 years will be centered in the U.S., and I’m excited to bring what I’m doing now to a global audience. I’ve been doing a lot of book tours and workshops in the U.S. and Southeast Asia. I’ve also recorded The Drew Barrymore Show I’m in New York, doing some stuff in Los Angeles.
What can people expect from your book?
Many readers will be able to grasp the message immediately. I put a lot of myself into this book. It’s full of anecdotes, case studies, my successes and failures, and what I learned from them. It’s funny, practical, and honest. I discuss everything candidly. It’s my best life with an Eastern and Western perspective.
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