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“He was brutally violent towards me. … He hit me. He choked me. I was really miserable when I was with him, and my mental state was very unstable.”
When Thach Chanty, a 35-year-old woman from Cambodia’s southeastern province of Kampong Cham, recalled her life with her ex-husband, “tears almost fell from my eyes.”
Shanti, a garment worker, is struggling to raise her two children in a marriage she says was rife with neglect and violence.
Fleeing brutal persecution left her alone, and society still viewed divorced women as failing to fulfill their basic social roles as wives and mothers. Chanty found solace in the support of her family.
“After divorcing my husband, I felt sad for my two sons,” she said. “A lot of people blamed me for the divorce, but fortunately, my parents and sister always supported me.”
A recent report states Go their separate waysReleased in late 2023 by the small nonprofit Klahaan, Difficulties facing divorced women in CambodiaIn addition to enduring huge social stigma and judgement, divorced women are more likely to face financial and emotional problems than their ex-husbands, the report said.
The report also found that little had changed since a November 2015 study by Cambodia’s Statistics Ministry and UN agencies, which found that about 20% of Cambodian women had experienced physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner in a relationship, including marriage. The report also found that one in three women had been psychologically abused, that violence often occurred in front of children, and that few victims sought help.
Gender differences after divorce
Klahaan’s study was conducted online with 40 female and male participants from the capital Phnom Penh and remote areas, including Ratanakiri and Kep provinces. Twenty-two of the women in the study said they had experienced divorce.
The study revealed significant gender differences after divorce. The majority of participants (87%) said women experienced a greater burden of shame or stigma after divorce, while only 1% believed men were more affected than their partners.
The report also highlighted regional disparities: 48% of respondents believed that rural women were more affected after divorce, while only 8% believed that urban women faced social stigma and judgment.
Mao Map, executive director of Klahaan, told VOA Khmer that the new study, based on the FPAR methodology, aims to address the controversial choice of divorce for both men and women.
According to Mao Map, the prevailing belief in Cambodia is that women can only marry once in their lifetime, a belief that influences people’s views on divorce. To support women, Mao Map is urging the government to develop policies that speed up divorce procedures, reduce the need for court mediation, and strengthen protections for women’s health by eliminating victim blaming by law enforcement.
Sar Sineth, a spokeswoman for Cambodia’s Ministry of Women’s Affairs, stressed the government’s commitment to helping women and girls who have experienced violence, especially those going through divorce and dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder. She said the ministry coordinates closely with the government and the legal system to provide swift support.
“We are working to speed up proceedings … to provide legal aid to victims of divorce due to prolonged violence,” she said. “By providing lawyers, the National Women’s Action Committee has signed a memorandum of understanding with the Bar Association to support victims and provide timely services.”
Sar Sineth did not respond when VOA Khmer asked for details on how women can access these services.
Infidelity leads to divorce
The study showed that infidelity is an important factor affecting women’s divorce decisions, with 81% of respondents believing that “infidelity and extramarital affairs” are possible reasons for women to choose divorce. In contrast, only 68% of men chose the same answer.
One participant said that although her husband began cheating on her soon after they got married, after their child was born, “he took it too far—he brought her to sleep in the house we built together. In the end, I decided to sell the house and get a divorce.”
Taci Shanti said she no longer cares what others think of her for divorcing to escape violence and focus on her son.
“Initially, when I was thinking about divorce, I cried and sometimes even thought about ending my life,” she said. “But now, I have let go of those thoughts and am living a normal life, doing everything I want for my children.”
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