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“I don’t want to erase my past because for better or worse, it made me who I am today. I’m truly grateful for the people who allowed me to discover love and pain, the people who loved me and took advantage of me, the people who said ‘I love you’ to me and the people who did it for their dirty games. I’m grateful that I found the strength to get up and keep going.” Oscar Wilde
We must understand this before we can understand the Irish writer and poet’s state of self-acceptance.
What is love? Why do we fall in love with certain people? Who is the right partner? How much does childhood influence our choices as adults? When is love and when is need? When does a relationship become toxic and narcissistic? Should we stay, or leave and start a new relationship?
When the topic of discussion is love, no matter how well we understand the feeling, have been hurt or disappointed, endless questions arise. Love in all its manifestations remains vital to human, spiritual and emotional health and is necessary for continuation.
After describing the events of her patients, love dilemmas and couples who did not know how to deal with this crazy feeling, clinical psychologist Suela Karajá found herself immersed in dozens of pages of notes, analysis of unspoken words, question marks and philosophical reflections. and psychology. Encouraged by them and further refined in this field through personal experience, there was a moment when he wanted to put it all in a book, in the form of a manual for those who want to understand themselves better.
“Love is a crucial topic, and yet, no one has taken the trouble to educate us in the field of relationships since we were born,” Karaja said in a promotion for the book Love on the Failure Curve published by UET Press. We leave all psychological and emotional problems to chance, and thus we involuntarily escape from ourselves, he added.
“It’s time to untangle this wonderful tangle through love and see who we really are,” emphasizes the psychologist, who has been working in the fields of therapy, psychoeducation, rehabilitation of psychosocial skills, cognitive improvement for 20 years. . A Doctor of Science in the field of Psychological Education and extensive involvement in clinical and legal cases have given her a valuable understanding of the complexity of psychodynamics and the transformations that human nature undergoes in various life processes.
As she emphasizes in the book, which features her painting on the cover, the author emphasizes that this publication is intended for information and advice by mental health professionals only. The advice and conclusions drawn from it cannot in any way replace diagnosis, therapeutic help or professional treatment.
“This book is designed to support everyone in finding the right person and leaving behind a devastating love,” says Karaja, who sincerely admits that while writing the manual she often asked herself whether she had followed the steps.
“In my experience and experience, I have not done that, but why not help others not to go into great pain, but to stop it before it’s too late, either to stay with the partner they claim to love, or to separate.”
Didactics in the field of psychology at UET, Dr. Elsida Sinaj appreciates the language used by the author, who, without departing from professionalism, brings the concepts in simple and understandable terms for everyone, not just professionals in the field. “I think this book will be more useful for people in their daily lives”, emphasizes Sinaj.
“It is both a mirror and a metaphor for the current situation that humanity is not suddenly facing, it is a treatise, a book of communication with a utilitarian message that inspires a desire for the future for everyone, whether in a love crisis or not”, says journalist and presenter Rezear Xhaxhiu.
As a first-time reader of the book, he appreciated the author’s fluent writing style, meticulous and in-depth treatment of the subject matter. He further emphasized: “The suggestions we put forward are realistic, logical, and everyone’s emotions are different, absolutely possible and coherent.”
On the other hand, Prof. Asst. Dr. Arjana Muçaj writes in the preface that this book does not give answers to the formula of how we should function in a couple relationship, but how we should understand ourselves, the person inside us.
“This book is a new understanding of the unknown within us, which can provide a new perspective on readers’ choices, helping them understand how these psychological factors affect the formation and maintenance of relationships, and when they say “stop” after realizing this, they have become part of these complex dynamics.”
With analysis and reflection from a psychologist, this book becomes a valuable resource for those dealing with these dilemmas and their impact on quality of life.
During the promotion on the campus of the European University in Tirana, students of the Psychology, Education and Sports Departments asked the author many questions.
Questions such as: How important is first love? What happens when a person falls in love, and is this feeling overrated? How desirable is virtual or remote connection? They immediately receive a response from a psychologist, a response that does not categorize or cut judgment, because no matter what the scientific research says, the case is specific and each person deserves his or her own treatment.
Colleagues appreciate her not only for the work she does, but also for her everyday cooperation, treatment and approach to work, as well as the kindness and help she provides.
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