María Fernanda Ampuero: “The one who wasn’t even pregnant was part of my loss” | Books | Entertainment

International recognition or “fame” in the literary world does not cause people to “lose sleep” Maria Fernanda Ampuero, Un-motherhood, yes. This is one of the themes the Guayaquil writer discusses openly in her book Internal organs (Foamy Pages) is his latest publication, which need not be a personal diary, but is deeply personal, its 170 pages directly expressing the heartbreak, pain, anger and – of course – helplessness and the “heartfelt” it can be in order to grow, sustain and survive in this world.

In his busy daily life, Ampuero was interviewed by the media via Zoom. During our conversation, I told him Her book contains very brutal revelations, “horrors” that no woman should ever have to go through; Then I asked you, what is the thing that hurts you the most? He took a little breath and answered that there was a topic that had not been asked yet, “It’s better this way,” he said, because it was difficult for him to talk about this topic because it was related to sadness. It will never go away.

“I’m angry that I didn’t make the decision younger, earlier, and be more firm with my ex.”she declares before being extremely candid about her eternal sorrow.

“It has an element of nostalgia; Imagine yourself as a mother’s great melancholy, For that hole you feel inside. "I feel like I would love to go through that experience," state.

“I’m a pro-choice person and fully support a woman’s decision not to be a mother, but I do want to do it, and that’s the big difference.”I’m not and I won’t be, it’s like the life I didn’t live, it’s a mourning, it’s something no one asks you about, because There are no bodies, no corpses, nothing to cry about, and yet, I believe we must give substance to the narratives we tell about our own lives, They deserve a duel, too,” he insisted.

“My personal narrative growing up is always with my son or daughter, So the one that didn’t get pregnant was one of my losses.”he added very sincerely.

This topic is Uterus, In one of the texts reflected in his book, he also denounced the concerns and prejudices of gynecologists.

About Offal

She can’t find the exact words to define her latest work, which is made up of poetry, reflection, stories, narratives, confessions, hard, very hard, but most of all, candid, honest, and unfiltered, just like she always is. “It’s a mix of all the genres I like, All the genres I’ve worked in my life. There’s a very obvious nod to poetry, which is a genre I wanted to work on from a very young age, And I didn’t do that,” the writer thought at a point in her life that “I don’t have the talent to be a poet.”

“I think this is a hybrid book because I am a literary scholar who has been working in journalism for 30 years. "She immigrated, she went through situations for which she was not prepared," points out a Guayaquil woman who has lived abroad for 20 years.

Its pages navigate between autobiography and autofiction; it also includes texts that talk about mental health, obesity, childhood, violence against women, writing, and more.

“If I don’t write, I’ll die”

The pages of this book are organically interwoven to tell of different times, situations, and emotions in his life. “I wrote little texts or artifacts to explain a lot of things to myself, Although I don’t keep a personal diary, Perhaps some of these texts are the closest thing to a personal diary. what I did, At certain moments, I felt that if I didn’t write, I would die, and if I wrote, I would die too,” the author declares. Cockfighting, human sacrifice, Residence permit yes Things I learned in the barbershop.

Some of the texts are very old, others are more recent, like the one about the pandemic. “Some words have been written in my mind for many years., They are looking for the riverbed, eating away at my memory, my memory, What is right and what is wrong,” he mentioned.

Without a beginning or an end, he declared that this was a work that could continue to have new works because his heart did not know how to say goodbye. “This book is alive to me. In a sense I don’t feel like it’s over. I feel like this is a book that could be infinitely rewritten, a book that could be revised with new text about what I’m going through today as a menopausal woman,” refer to.

At this point in the conversation, she inserted a parenthesis to emphasize that menopause is a topic that has a lot to say about, and writing is a great opportunity to do so. “It’s a force of nature, like a volcanic eruption, and it has to be captured on camera.”he said.

What They Will Say

Viseral’s malicious comments did not matter to her. “I don’t care what anyone says, you’re welcome, because no one has ever given me anything. I’ve lived in this country undocumented for two years and have gone through horrors that no one has ever gone through; if anyone laughs or criticizes my life decisions, Or the fake terror of Guayaquil, I’m telling you At least I dared, at least I tried, at least I am being interviewed by EL UNIVERSO. ”

“I’m not ashamed of the life I lived; it makes me sad to be sad for the people who loved me, and it does make me sad. People who loved me very much suffered because of this book, and they learned things they didn’t know. They cried a lot, They were trying to comfort me about something being there at the wrong time,” he revealed.

Although he has discussed everything in the book with his mother, she has asked him not to read it. “I talk to my mom about mental health, and my mom knows that I take medication and that I go to therapy. My mother knew that all those pills and all that weight loss stuff she gave me when I was a kid and a teenager could be very harmful to me; “His obsession with me being thin destroyed my mind, and probably my metabolism and nervous system,” he said.

“I have absolutely nothing to hide in this book, it’s a book I owe to my childhood self, To my teenage self, to my childless, partnerless self, to the free woman I always wanted to be, to the feminist woman, and Free women are always punished”, he pointed out. (I)