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Dear Kristen, I dated a man briefly three years ago. I was deeply hurt by the breakup, but when he apologized to me a few months later, I forgave him and moved on. We eventually joined the same sports club and competed in some events together – he was my partner.
We soon fell into a kind of “semi-relationship” again. We ate together, stayed in the same room when we traveled, and he told me that he loved me, and I told him too.
However, we didn’t have a whole lot going on.
We didn’t look like we were going anywhere.
Messed up my mind
The situation was really starting to confuse me, but I didn’t want to cause waves and create a situation among my circle of friends at the club.
Please help me.
– Warner Bros.
Dear WB, if the current situation confuses you, then change the situation. You can start from the lower Smaller changes, like not returning “I love you” affection, can also stop eating together or living in the same room.
Blurred lines
If your ex asks why you’re changing, be honest and say that the blurred boundaries between you, coupled with the unresolved feelings after the breakup, are preventing you from being satisfied with this “semi-relationship.”
Tell him you want a real relationship with him.
If these changes don’t work or “make waves” in your circle of friends, then you will Bigger changes need to be made, which may include quitting the sports club and/or finding a new group of friends (perhaps through a different sports club).
You should never feel that you need to sacrifice your comfort or Make yourself smaller just to appease your friend. A true friend will want you to prioritize your own emotional well-being and will respect the boundaries you need to set to do so.
– Kristen
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