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It is the basis of effective communication. It also requires: speaking so that people can listen, and listening so that people can speak
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You will avoid misunderstandings with your boss, co-workers, and partners (even with your husband/wife, children, and mother-in-law/mother-in-law) if you adopt the principle of “What I know is different from what you know” in every communication.
An experiment by scientists at the University of Chicago proved Familiarity between people does not promote communication between people.
The researchers selected participants for the experiment based on acquaintance/strangers. In the first group, they put people who knew each other. In the second, people who had never met. They set up situations in which they had to explain something to each other.
It turns out that acquaintances did not understand each other better than strangers. Participants in the first group thought they only understood half a word, missed details, and did not clarify the situation well. The second group of strangers did not overestimate their communication ability and communicated without hesitation.
Understanding that “what I know is different from what you know” is at the heart of effective communication, said study leader Kenneth Savitsky.
Generally speaking, there are two rules you must follow in order to communicate effectively.
The first one is Speak so that people listen. This means changing and adapting your message depending on your interlocutor – to ensure they understand you and keep their interest.
Another rule is Listen to people talkThis means not viewing communication as a one-sided process. It is important to give your interlocutor the opportunity to ask questions and share ideas.
Also, try to see if there is something unsaid, if there is a message hidden beneath the surface of the words.
Active listening skills It shows respect and is the basis for your understanding. It suggests spending more time listening than talking.
Don’t interrupt. Ask questions. Never answer a question with a question.
In order not to alienate your interlocutor, avoid finishing his sentences. In this way, you show impatience instead of understanding or suggest that he is reciting a cliché. Finally, briefly paraphrase what he said in your own words to make sure you understood him correctly.
Psychologists recommend connecting with your interlocutor on an emotional level. People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.Listening as spiritual hospitality is the springboard to success. Practice to learn it.
There are also rules for asking questions.
“He who asks questions may look like a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask questions will always look like a fool.”
This is a Chinese proverb, very old and very wise. For an intelligent person, the world is always too complicated, no matter how educated, experienced, or insightful he is, he will never think everything is clear. If you don’t ask questions, it’s either because you are too lazy to think, or you are too superficial to get to the bottom of things, or you have low self-esteem and are afraid to expose yourself.
If you’re not that kind of person, you should Ask the right questions. IE. Not the ones that come up with one-size-fits-all answers. So you’re not really clarifying anything, you’re just testing your knowledge.
First, helpful questions Start with “Why”They help you deepen your understanding of your goals and perspectives. It’s good to regularly ask yourself “Why am I doing this?”
“Why not?” It’s also a good question. With it, you can overcome resistance – your own inner doubts or those of others. For example, when everything is resisting you, “Why shouldn’t I just give up now” is a topic for reflection. When negotiations with a partner are stuck, “Why don’t we do this” can be a constructive suggestion.
It’s not just “what”; What-ifs can help you make better decisionsYou consider different options and avoid mistakes. Even just “what if I do this” makes you imagine and your ideas start to feel more real.
“what else” is a crucial question. It helps you delve deeper into the problem, look at the details, and consider alternatives for taking action. Often, in the process of finding the answer, you can radically change your perspective and plans.
Experts claim How questions fall into the most complex category because they combine creativity with strategic thinking.. It analyzes the functional aspects of a problem or task.
“Why am I doing this” might sound philosophical, and the answer you get is “to make my life better.” “How can I make my life better” already means coming up with a plan of action.
“Who,” “When,” and “How long” are so-called questions. Closed-ended – They want a specific answer. You should also contact them to clarify everything about a new project you are starting to work on, for example. But the order of questions is correct if you ask them at the end, not at the beginning. They are more important than all the other things that give you insight into the whole essence.
one How much should you ask so as not to appear professionally incompetent?
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