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How can you support your children during the times they are going through in New Caledonia? Although the violence has subsided in recent weeks, it is important to remain vigilant. But how do you know what is really happening to your children and what actions you should take to help them through this difficult time? Professionals share their advice.
From the outset of the crisis, health professionals were quick to assess the possible consequences for young people in New Caledonia. Several measures have been put in place within institutions, but the role of families is clearly crucial in best supporting children and adolescents who remain extremely vulnerable in the face of such a serious event. “Our goal is also to give parents tools so that they can identify if their child is not behaving well. In fact, maybe some parents don’t realize that it is very important for the child to be able to say and express what he sees, what he sees. A Feeling at certain times. This word can make things free and calm. Pascale Domingue Mena recallsResponsible for barometers and research on health and social institutions in New Caledonia.
Tensions have eased in New Caledonia in recent weeks, but for children and adults alike, it is best not to let things drag on. “We have to act quickly to manage acute stress to prevent it from building up and becoming post-traumatic stress that lasts for some time. If these signs persist within a month of the event, we can be moving towards ongoing post-traumatic stress. This can last for years, but fortunately not for everyone.”
The ASS-NC developed a questionnaire for children. For example, the interviewer asks whether the child often feels a racing heartbeat, has problems sleeping or feels more nervous. The results sheet sent to parents contains a QR code for downloading advice and tools. The sheet therefore presents warning signs that need to be detected. “Repeated thoughts about the event during the day or nightmares at night. Tendency to play repetitive games or recreate pictures surrounding specific aspects of the event. Avoidance of people, situations, or objects that remind him of the event.”
Karine Detcheverry is a school nurse at the Greater Noumea High School. Since classes resumed in July, she has received students who need to talk. For her, there are some signs that can alert parents when their children don’t talk about it directly. “Changes in mood, when you no longer recognize your child, when sleeping schedules change, when appetite changes. When you see him start going out more often, or vice versa, if it’s ‘he was a very happy person and he finds himself cooped up at home and no longer does anything. ‘”
She believes we have to remain cautious as time goes on. “It’s normal for our children to change as a result of these events, but this won’t last long, and if they haven’t returned to normal after three or four weeks, then things have calmed down out there and you should be concerned and consult.”
The listening room at the Greater Noumea High School remains open. “They still need to talk about it. The post-traumatic stress is so far removed from the event, and now we need to pay more attention to our kids. We need to ask how they are doing or how they are feeling. Now that we’ve stepped back, it’s easier to talk about because there’s less emotion involved.”
She also insists that you should never hesitate to ask the school nurse for information. “We can refer them to free psychological support.”
For Marie-Christine Garin, Vice-President Nursing and Technology Advisor, we must also be vigilant about everything related to social networks. “On social networks, aggression, violence and everything that is reported or that causes anxiety is discussed so that they can help express what they hear, what they see, what their comrades say, in order to understand the situation.”
For this pro, you need to have regular conversations with your child to take their temperature. “How is he? How are his classmates? You have to observe your child, too. There are obvious signs.” Words are also important. “If you are very angry about what happened, it might be worthwhile to get counselling to help you release that anger. So that it doesn’t resonate in the outside world, such as with another student or himself, and put himself in danger.“
If the parents had had a conversation, they would have realized what they were going through and maybe they would have been able to correct it and bring the child back to reality because sometimes they are just rumors.
Marie-Christine Garin, Assistant Principal Nurse and Technology Advisor
Three months have passed since the Caledonian riots broke out. Like her colleague Karine Detcheverry, Marie-Christine Garin advises not to lower your guard in the face of danger. Post-traumatic stress. She used the example of the anti-encirclement grenade. “These are noises we all remember. If the young person is traumatized by this, which is not necessarily the case, then you will be able to observe that when there is a slight noise in the house, he will be startled and feel scared.”
PTSD can be observed after a few weeks, but it resolves well. “ohWe can see it through a banal event that reminds a young person of what happened during the event. It’s as if this person has been locked in a memory. We have to get him out of this memory because it’s in the past.”
Be aware that young people may have changed municipalities to quieter areas after the abuse began, but they may still be vulnerable. You also need to be vigilant here.
She advises parents every dayAn area where you can hang out with your child, helping them find reassuring points of reference. “We as parents, if we feel very worried, we have to go to counselling so as not to infect our children. The aim is to have a reassuring speech, to tell him that things will be arranged, that a solution will be found, to give him hope, and this contribution of positivity and hope is very important for a child, rather than lying to him.”
Parents are the pilots of the plane and the children are the passengers. He would say that if the pilot is good, the plane will be good.
Marie-Christine Garin, Vice-Principal Nurse and Technical Advisor
Marie-Christine Garin insists that parents must School partners. “You have to trust the school and if that is not the case yet, let the children go back to class. The staff is there so that the students can finish the school year in good conditions and not have to worry about everything anymore. What is happening outside, all the social, security or political issues, it has nothing to do with the educational institution.”
According to her, some parents are still too worried. “It’s important that they can contact the agency team to be reassured, they may be concerned about a quarrel between young people, in which case they must meet with staff so that they can find out, because the best thing for them is for the children to go back to school and feel like a young person, free from all these adult concerns.”
The school’s partnership also means that parents can notify the school if they have any concerns. “They need to remember to alert us to what we call weak signals. That is, the beginning of something more serious. So that institutions are also prepared to protect this group of kids, who are there to be safe and to learn.”
The school nurse can also help in these situations. “Let us know about any worrying situations your child may be experiencing so we can help you cope.”
Leaflets from health and social agencies detail some of the recommendations. Here are some:
1. Listen first, then speak. This will allow you to understand their concerns and level of understanding.
2. Use age-appropriate language: Your child has the right to know what is happening, but it is your responsibility to protect them. Use age-appropriate words, explain the facts simply and clearly, and avoid frightening details.
3. Pay attention to their anxiety levels and reassure them that they are safe: Your child needs to know that he is safe. Reassure him that adults will take action to protect everyone and that you are there to protect him. Remind them that many people are doing everything they can to end conflict and create peace.
4. Express your emotions in moderation: It’s okay to express your emotions, but try to remain calm and reassuring. Your child will take cues from your reactions. Invite your child to talk about their feelings and show them that all emotions are valid. You can also provide him with activities to express his feelings, such as drawing.
5. Be prepared to answer questions honestly, but without too much information. If you don’t know the answer, say so and offer to find out together. Limit media exposure: Protect your child from repetitive and often dramatic media images and messages. News channels are not suitable for children 6 years and younger. For older children, watch with them and discuss what they see.
6. Reinforce positive values: Use these moments to discuss important values, such as compassion and helping others. Show him examples of solidarity and courage. Stay connected and make sure your child knows they can come and talk to you at any time. Keep the lines of communication open.
1. Establish and maintain protective habits: Regular bedtimes, waking times, and mealtimes create moments for family discussion and sharing.
2. Promote communication: Ask your child to tell you one pleasant/interesting/unusual thing about their day. Ask your child how he/she feels, listen to him/her and have a discussion there. Help them identify their emotions and notice attitudes that may indicate their emotional state.
3. Share fun activities with your children, both outdoors (gardening, fishing, walking, gymnastics, ball games, biking, rollerblading, exercising, etc.) and indoors (board games, video games, puzzles, baking, crafts, listening to music, watching movies/series together, etc.)
4. Encourage physical activity and healthy, enjoyable eating.
5. Promote relationships with young people of the same age, family and friends.
6. If they wish, offer moments of relaxation together or individually (doing stretches, guided meditation, heart coherence, etc.) There are different tools available on the internet.
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