The truth about why we stopped having children

one A recent tweet that went viral asked a simple question: “What do you think is causing the declining birth rate?”

The answers varied widely.

“People around the world have higher expectations for everything: their spouse, their children’s quality of life. It all comes down to this.”

“Birth control + cost of living.”

“People are over-stressed, over-worked and more focused on career and personal goals.”

And, hilariously: “Men are mean and everything is too expensive.”

The unchanging fact is Declining fertility rates is a topic that is gaining more and more attention. In the UK, the birth rate has dropped significantly since 2010, with an average The fertility rate in England and Wales fell to 1.49 children per couple In 2022, the birth rate hit a record low of 2.1 children per woman. This figure is far below the so-called “replacement rate,” which is 2.1 children per woman, which is needed for developed countries to maintain a stable population.

But this is not a problem unique to the UK; birth rates are falling everywhere except in sub-Saharan Africa. Two-thirds of countries around the world now have birth rates below replacement rate. The problem is particularly acute in Southeast Asian countries: Taiwan, China, Thailand and Japan All at the bottom Fertility chart.

Sarah Harper CBE, professor of gerontology at Oxford University, believes there are two major trends at play. The first is an extension of a move that began in Europe 250 years ago: “Improving education and healthcare for women reduces the number of children they have. This is a very good thing – more women are healthy, educated and have access to family planning services.”

Another trend has been more pronounced over the past 30 years, particularly in Asia and Latin America. The second decline in fertility, to less than 1.5 children, “seems to be driven by different factors”, Professor Harper said. “The responses from young women in Southeast Asia and Europe were the same: yes, women reported financial problems, job insecurity or unaffordable housing. But they also said, ‘I’m educated and I understand that if I have children, my lifestyle will change. I want to think about when to have children’.” They might decide not to have children, delay having their first child, or have just one.

South Korea’s tax rate is already the lowest in the worldIt plunged again last year to a record low of 0.72.On the one hand, South Koreans in their 20s and 30s seem more willing to spend their disposable income on fashion, dining and travel: “They are chasing status. Their high spending habits show that young people are trying to build their own mark of success online, rather than focusing on impossible goals such as settling down and having children,” said Jung Jae-hoon, a sociology professor at Seoul Women’s University. Tell Reuters.

On the other hand, the widening gender gap has triggered a movement called 4B, Women vow not to date the opposite sexSouth Korea has been grappling with deep-seated misogyny in the country, with a 2016 survey finding that intimate partner violence rates were 41.5 percent, compared with a global average of 30 percent, and that its gender wage gap is the largest in the developed world.

Women are increasingly vocal about their demands, believing that gender equality must exist.

Professor Pragya Agarwal

These situations are obviously unique to South Korea, but they reflect realities that may resonate further afield, in a world where a kind of Peter Pan syndrome has set in, where adults settle for smaller luxuries because they feel they can’t afford life’s big events like houses, weddings and children, and where straight, cisgender men and women feel increasingly divided in terms of ideology and emotional maturity.

Daniel Cox, a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, surveyed more than 5,000 Americans about dating and relationships, and found that nearly half of college-educated women said they Single because they have trouble finding someone who meets their expectationsCox said his interviews with male participants were “depressing”; he found the men to have “limited ability and willingness to emotionally invest and engage.”

Yale University anthropologist Marcia Inhorn also concluded in her book Frozen motherhood: The mating gap and why women freeze their eggs One of the main reasons educated women freeze their eggs is Can’t find a suitable male partnerShe documents the “frustration, hurt, and disappointment” experienced by women who “almost without exception…’tried’ to find a loving partner” but failed.

When I think about my own identity, I see echoes of this adaptive difference 37 years old, no children woman. Not having kids felt less like a choice and more like a necessity, due to a lack of potential partners willing to put down roots and take seriously the responsibilities that come with a relationship. Although I was willing to compromise in many areas, I knew I would only want kids under certain circumstances: I had a committed partner who I was sure would step up and share half of the parenting responsibilities with me.

Professor Pragya Agarwal, author of the book Gender Equality: Women’s Gender Identity and Gender Equality, agrees, “Women are becoming more vocal about their demands and believe that gender equality and gender parity are a must.” (Motherly) Identity: On the Choice of Being a Woman“Taking care of children or doing housework is not just a woman’s responsibility. Emotional and mental labor Women have to step up. Many people who occupy higher positions in the hierarchy, like men, don’t recognize that there was an inequality before and now they need to step up. This creates challenges in heterosexual relationships because there is a gap between women’s and men’s expectations.”

In practical terms, this means that while more women are actively choosing not to have children now than in previous decades (and face less stigma for doing so), some women are not having children due to circumstance rather than choice.

“It’s great for women to be able to say, ‘This is how I want my life to be and I’m not willing to compromise,’ ” she added. “But some women are forced to make that choice even if they want children because otherwise they either have to shoulder all the burdens or become mothers and not advance in their careers. They don’t get support in the workplace or at home, and they’re constantly exhausted: financially, emotionally, physically.”

One reason why social infrastructure is not adequate to encourage women to have children voluntarily is that maternity care is often very poor and childcare is expensive. Last year, it rose by nearly 6%.The UK has the third highest childcare costs in the world based on the average salary of a couple, with the average cost of full-time nursery for children under two years old being £14,836 a year, according to the Department for Education and Training. OECDAbout 63% of parents postpone having a second child or decide not to have any more children because of the cost of raising children. A 2023 survey 1,000 parents with children under four years old.

And then there’s the climate issue – there’s a huge fear that prospective parents will be bringing their children into a world where the future looks increasingly uncertain, almost terrifying. Research Results A 2022 study by the University of Nottingham showed that 48% of Britons agreed that anxiety about climate change had, to some extent, made them think they should not have had children, or now regretted having them.

No policy intervention can encourage childbearing

Vegard Skilbeck

But according to one view, the problem is bigger than heightened expectations for equality, the pain of male “lost boys,” economic barriers and fears that the planet is on fire. In fact, the problem may include all of these and more, attributed to a global malaise. Inequality and social isolation have led to an “epidemic of despair” — and that’s what’s causing a global drop in fertility, says one author. 2024 Papers from University of Pennsylvania Neuroscientists Michael Pratt and Peter Sterling.

What’s behind the “catastrophic” rise in anxiety, depression and related illnesses? The study claims that the increasing digitalization of our lives, the shift away from the real world and towards online interactions, has led to more physical and mental illnesses, especially in high-income countries, and suppressed the most basic of human drives: procreation.

This may explain why The government introduced a birth subsidy plan to encourage childbirth There is little that can be done to reverse the trend. “Essentially, there are no policy interventions that will encourage childbearing or have a long-term impact on fertility rates,” said Vegard Skirbekk, a Norwegian population economist and author of the book. Fall and Boom!: Changing Birth Rates Around the World and the Advantages of Having Fewer ChildrenTell me, “Many countries have tried and failed.”

While an aging population may present some problems, it is also inevitable. “The United Nations said years ago—and any demographer would agree—that aging was going to happen no matter what,” Skirbekk says. “We’re living longer.” That means the number of countries where more than half the population is over 50 will increase rapidly. Societies will have to adjust, but technological change and automation can help fill the gaps in an aging workforce.

We also need to think about immigration as a tool – “there are lots of young people with skills and talents elsewhere,” Professor Harper said. She also suggested looking for opportunities within our own local population. “If women had fewer children they could play a bigger role in the workforce, and if we were healthier overall we could work longer. It’s a challenge, but I don’t see it as a problem.”

Indeed, the common assumption that falling fertility is inherently a bad thing can be misleading. Skirbekk agrees: “It’s unavoidable, and people tend to underestimate the many positive aspects of falling fertility.”

Carbon emissions are one of them. Fundamentally, a smaller population means a smaller carbon footprint. “Personally, I think it’s a good thing,” Professor Harper said of falling birth rates. “We have eight billion people on the planet and we could still see births increase to 12 billion. We know that climate change and the depletion of goods and natural resources are only going to increase; the pressures are only going to increase.” If anything, falling fertility rates will take some of the pressure off.

But she stressed that if you want to have children, you should not let Environmental guilt prevents you from having them“Just make sure your family and your household members keep their consumption low.”

Experts agree that if you want to replace “bye baby” with “hit me baby one more time,” we need to do a better job of supporting those who Do Want to be a parent. “We have to think about equality in the workplace and equality in the home,” Professor Harper said. “Quality, affordable childcare has to be available.”

It’s no good for anyone for the government to create panic about falling fertility rates. But implementing policies to actually support women who want to have children? Maybe that would help.