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Imagine having no place to live, no bed to sleep in, no warm clothes to keep out the cold, and no food to eat.
You struggle with emotional difficulties, hoping to work through them, and resort to meth or amphetamines to get through the day.
What’s worse is that you are living alone in another country.
This is the dark reality that Kalesi Volatabu once experienced
In an interview with The Sunday Times, she shared how she overcame emotional difficulties and battled an addiction to methamphetamine.
However, before this chapter unfolds, Kalesi and his family lead an ordinary life at home in Suva.
Kalesi is from Tailevu but has maternal links to Kadavu.
When she grows up, her dream is to become a lawyer and fight for and uphold justice for the country.
“This was my dream as a kid,” she said.
The eldest of three siblings, she attended Ainslie Methodist Kindergarten, Suva Methodist Primary School and Dudley Secondary School before moving to Australia.
As a teenager, she boarded a plane and flew abroad to start a new chapter.
Kalesi said the main reason she moved to Australia was the unrest caused by the 1987 coup.
“In 1987, my parents decided that I should go to Australia and I was excited,” she said.
“I was so happy, I told all my friends I was flying.
Before this, the only time she had seen Sydney, Australia was when she was at the movies.
“So in 1987 they decided to put me on a plane… For a kid being put on a plane to go to a foreign country… it was a life-changing experience.
“Especially with a child, there’s nothing that can help you deal with that.”
Kalesi was told she would be living with her extended family.
“I didn’t even know what their relationship to me was, and as a kid you don’t question it or ask that question.
“When your parents tell you to go…you go.”
And she did – moving to a whole new country at the age of 13, she was very excited about this unique opportunity.
“When I first arrived in Sydney, they (relatives) rolled out the red carpet and took me sightseeing, and you know how novel it is to go to different places and see family.”
A few weeks later, Kalesi said she started having a bad time. She wasn’t even aware that her visa status and passport had expired.
Like any other child, Kalesi missed and longed to see his family.
“For weeks, I missed my family, friends and my mom.”
“I called my mom and asked if I could go home, and she said no,” Kalesi said.
She was filled with confusion and anxiety.
“Why doesn’t she want me? Why doesn’t she let me go home?
“I really felt like an orphan… Deep down, I felt like I had no parents.”
What was supposed to be a journey of opportunity turned into an ordeal for Kalesi. But it was only the beginning.
Kalesi, like many others surviving on the streets, has found solace in the most unexpected places.
She also tried to seek help from other sources – such as a nearby church.
“I remember clearly that there was a church near the suburb where I lived at the time and it was a Fijian church.”
Kalesi said growing up, she remembers churches in Fiji as places where people felt welcome. However, she encountered some members who watched and judged her performance in church, which made her feel differently.
She decided to leave the church and seek solitude elsewhere – the streets of Sydney.
“That’s a different battle in itself.”
So as a teenager, Kalesi’s first priority at the time was to find a place to sleep.
Imagine if you were unable to return home and had no idea that your visa in Australia had expired.
“I felt so much hurt, pain and sadness and had no home to sleep in,” she said.
“When your parents tell you they don’t want you and you’re abroad…what do you do?
“That incident took a big toll on my mental health and looking back on it now it’s pretty horrible.”
From that point on, she began to rely on alcohol and drugs as coping mechanisms.
“I needed to hide the pain I was going through, whether it was through alcohol or drugs.
“Alcohol and marijuana didn’t work, so I turned to crystal meth (amphetamines) because I needed to numb all the criticism, all the insults… and the emotional violence that I was experiencing.”
So during this dark time filled with hurt and trauma, methamphetamine was like a warm blanket that gave her peace and happiness.
“You ended up in this cave because you can’t think straight and make the right decision.
This was her chance to escape reality for a short while.
Kalesi said continuing to take her medication allows her to shut down those voices and stop feeling rejected and abandoned.
But this did not help her, but made her more miserable.
“I was physically abused, I was raped twice and it was just a vicious cycle for me.
“I rely on this drug (meth) every day so I can close my eyes and numb the pain.
“I told myself in my head I was going to be OK, but at the end of the day it was actually making me miserable.”
Kalesi said her battle with drugs lasted three years, even to the stage where she began to have suicidal thoughts.
She also saw the consequences of the addiction through people she knew.
People thought there was no turning back for Kalesi.
However, with the help of acquaintances, she “achieved victory.”
Although she was taken to the Australian Immigration Department to check her visa status, she managed to change her situation and obtained permanent residency with the help of her relatives.
She then became involved in rehabilitation, helping others who were going through similar struggles and social issues.
The main motivation for her comeback came from her two sons, Bradley and Michael.
Today, she is the founder of Drug Free World Fiji, raising awareness and sharing her personal experience.
One of these contributions includes participation in Fiji’s first ever National Drug Strategy 2023-2028 which was recently launched in June.
One cannot truly offer advice on a situation if they have not lived through said experience, and this is true for Kalesi.
Her story of overcoming emotional hardship, homelessness and drug addiction is moving and speaks volumes about the power of human nature when people are determined to change.
Kalesi hopes her story of survival can be a source of inspiration.
“Start small by learning about drugs and the impact they have on people. This can start in your own home, church, village and community because everyone has a role to play.”
“If you want to accomplish something, you must put people first, put people first, and respect people.”
“We need to remove the stigma because it prevents people from reaching out.”
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