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Mugisha Salomon of the Karangazi area said that for years he had been with a woman who prevented him from working and did not allow him to contribute to their property.
He said that when he sold crops or livestock, he couldn’t tell her how much money he took, but he would keep it from her and give it to her in case she needed it.
He said: “I did not do any work in the house and even though I owned the property, I had power over it. I could not tell him the money but I allocated it to him because I always felt I was the one with power, so I did it for him.
This reportedly led to frequent arguments in their home. She said that after 18 months of “letting go of conflict” education, she changed and was able to reconcile with her spouse.
“Today, the properties we look at, we seek advice on how to use our property, whether it’s farming or buying animals, we seek advice and that helps us a lot when we start saving money at home,” he said.
Another trained man from Katabagam district said that he had a bad relationship with his wife because many times she was at home and they quarreled mainly because he was drunk and deprived her of her property.
He said it was only when he was trained to walk away from conflict that he realised women had value and had property rights.
He said, “When I came home, I drank and beat him until he came home. I felt that the property was not his concern because he found it. Another thing is that I could not help him with any work, he did the farm work himself, and if I ordered it to be done, it was sacred.”
He continued: “The classes have really helped me a lot because now what we do and talk about are things we do together. How we are now the bride and groom.
Nyagatare District Deputy Mayor for Community Welfare, Murekatete Juliet, thanked the partners for helping their families escape the conflict and promised that they will continue to do what they are doing.
He said they would use these families that have escaped conflict to teach others, as family conflict is the root cause of poverty and children dropping out of school.
“We have strong cotton left, so we will use these families to help those caught up in the conflict to get out of trouble,” he said.
Rutaysire Fidèle, executive director of RWAMREC, who also trained the officers, said they were proud of their achievements, including freeing 500 families from conflict and reducing violence by more than 90 percent.
He said the trained counselors will continue to be involved in teaching others and they too will change.
In Nyagatare District, especially Karangazi and Katabagamu Districts, 270 families were trained on the Transformative Journey, of which 32 families engaged their legitimate children and especially 86 families committed to live together again after separation.
Overall, the BAHO project has provided training to 700 families in Karangazi and Katabagemu districts in Nyagatare District and Remera and Kabarore districts in Gatsibo District.
Of these 540 families, some have already decided to leave the conflict area and one family is helping them, even though they have already received 18 months of education.
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