“I am what I never was”, a mixture of violence

Leon, Gto. (process).- The debut novel of Rodrigo Álvarez Flores, I am someone I never wastells the story of a family facing violence from a criminal, Bullying and Sexual Harassment, won the Best Mexican Feature Film Award, the PR Impulse Award and the Media Award at the 27th Guanajuato International Film Festival (GIFF).

The film stars Ángeles Cruz, Cesar Cancino, Ali Lopez, Alejandro Guzman, Andres Delgado, Sara Juarez, Giancarlo Ruiz, Hector Guerrero and Ruben Pablos.

“For me it was important to premiere the film at GIFF because I love it so much. I premiered my latest short here and I think the idea of ​​returning to this cinematic encounter was exactly what I wanted with this film. I needed to feel an embrace. It was a very difficult process, very tiring with tape. I wanted so much to share it with the Mexican public and the Best Feature Film award took me completely by surprise because there were very good films in competition. I thought I would win again,” said Álvarez Flores, a graduate of the Cinematography program, in an interview.

Continue to be happy:

“Everything has been a joy, the media attention we’ve received has been touching, I’ve been dazzled by the care. I feel your interest. This is a project that comes from my heart. It’s a very personal project. The producers are my lifelong friends. Miguel Urias is my partner. It’s a family. We suffer together and celebrate together the triumphs and mistakes of this project.”

At the GIFF awards ceremony, which took place from July 19 to 28, the director, who was born in Puebla in 1987, said it was a sudden change:

“These awards make us visible instead of invisible. There are so many filmmakers in the country and it’s complicated to stand out. These medals are like a valid form of officially launching our careers, they give us an important spotlight, and I think that’s the importance of festivals, raising visibility.”

I am someone I never was Focuses on Renato, Abel and Gabriela, a family torn apart by an emotional situation. For them, the desire to be happy and escape from their difficult situation seems out of reach. The decisions they make independently will have an impact on the lives of others, showing that the way they unite is fragile and delicate.

Filmmaker Álvarez Flores’ family is originally from Mexico City, but moved to Puebla after the 1985 earthquake. Because of his father’s work, he had to live in Guadalajara, León, Mexico City, and Tijuana:

“So I’m scattered all over, and since Tijuana is the city where I’ve been the longest, I’d say that’s where I’m from. I did my degree in Argentina, then I did my degree in Tijuana. Now I live in Mexico City,” he said.

-There are a lot of edges in the film, from Bullyingsexual harassment, violent crime, lack of communication, in short, how do these problems arise?

-I don’t know whether to call it from an artistic point of view or if it has something to do with sensitivity. I made a documentary in 2017-2018 called Lonely girl (Mexico, 2019) Directed by Javier Ávila. We had to interview a family that was a victim of violence, specifically femicide. To be honest, it really made a big impression on me. I went through this process and it was like anxiety. There are many situations I am someone I never was That is indeed a true anecdote that happened.

The inspiration for Renato, who plays Cancino, was a real character. I immersed myself in some of the history, I suffered some of the pain Bullying Gabriella’s case was based on several mothers I interviewed and how I saw the mother figure, which for me was like a very strong pillar in my life. I wanted to make a film with a professional woman in her forties or fifties as the protagonist, who could be a visible protagonist, not just a feature film with young people.

Family breakdown was another topic, as was the absence of the father, who he commented on:

“It’s a personal ghost trauma. My father was incredible, I adored him and I owe my career to him. He was always traveling for work and was a little absent in our lives. It was my mother’s turn to create us. She was like the strong figure in the family and in my projects I always talk about the figure of an absent father and I think I was probably reflecting some trauma from my childhood, clarifying that I always told my dad that I loved him and I was very grateful to him and I owed him a lot, but he had to work and I had to make progress. Even when he was unemployed and we were just in Guanajuato, he had to migrate north and my mother followed him and we went to Tijuana and we stayed there and my father came back. In the film, there is no.”

-Criminal violence is fundamental to the plot, how did you address this?

-I didn’t want to create an overtly violent film, it’s emotionally violent, it’s a reflection of where we are as a society. We live so fast and so far away from others because we’re so focused on our own things that we kind of forget about this sensitivity, and the dysfunctional families in feature films become very estranged, and everyone is facing their own hell, and they’re invisible.

Angel Cross

-Angeles Cruz is a very strong character who faced sexual harassment.

-Sexual harassment knows no age. Even I was harassed, and it’s uncomfortable, and you feel super vulnerable. I believe being a victim has no age or gender. Also, there is abuse of power at work, and I have to see abuse of power in filmmaking itself, which also reflects on how I view situations at work.

-Why did you choose actress Angeles and other actors?

-I think Ángeles Cruz is a very attractive woman in many ways. From a professional point of view, she has a face that I find very interesting, I can’t find words to describe how admirable her acting skills are, and I was very interested to try to see her play a slightly different role. I had the opportunity to have an actress of her talent play this kind of character, who is so reserved, so quiet, but at the same time you can see the energy inside her, which I find fascinating.

keep going:

“The truth is, and it was taken for granted, because obviously, I was nobody and had no credentials to support my career, I sent the script to a friend who helped me get in touch with her and she gave me a chance because she found the text interesting and she was very dedicated. To this day, I can boast that I have a very deep friendship and affection for her. I thank you! The same thing happened to others. The fact that Ángeles Cruz came on board triggered a wave of offers. castingwhich gave them a lot of confidence and encouraged them to participate. I have a luxurious cast! “They are the highlight of this movie.”

He was told that Ali Lopez was doing very well and he said:

“I met him through a friend who highly recommended him to me. All Fires There are few films directed by Mauricio Calderón that have ever been made in the United States. I am someone I never was This is his first Mexican movie. He’s a guy you have to keep an eye on. He has the same potential — as he was growing up, as he is now as an actor, Kristyan Ferrer, as Benny Emmanuel. I’m sure in a few years Ali will be at that level.”

César Kancino saw him in a short film at the National Cinema and thought he was an interesting face:

“We talked, and I mentioned the inspiration for the project, and how many years had passed since he wrote the script and secured funding, but because of scheduling and budget issues, there was no way the film would get off the ground. “No. “I had the money to pay them, and then the pandemic hit. ”

He wrote the script in 2018 and then collaborated with Benjamin Figueroa and Alberto Gutierrez. Shooting began in early 2021 in Tijuana and Baja Studios.