How to realize you love someone

Love is an abstract concept that is difficult to describe and understand accurately. Many people describe love as an emotion, even though love itself is not necessarily an emotion. However, there are some physical and psychological signs of realizing that you are in love with someone. Many times, you will realize that you are in love with someone suddenly, even though it may take a long time to build up.

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（edit）Thinking about your romantic partner

1. Think about how long you’ve known your special someone. The idea of ​​”love at first sight” isn’t always realistic; often, love takes a long time to develop. If you think you might be developing loving feelings for that special someone, think about how long you’ve known them.
   
   • Are you in a relationship, or do you just like someone from a distance?
   • If you are in a relationship, how long have you been in the relationship?
   • How long have you known this person?
2. Notice the physiological reactions in your body when you think about them. Many people report that they observe certain physiological reactions in themselves when they think about their loved ones. These signs are associated with certain centers in the brain that are related to relationships.⁽¹⁾
   
   • Dilated pupils
   • Heartbeat
   • Feeling of tension
   • Sweaty palms
   • Blushing cheeks
3. Ask yourself some questions about your relationship with this person. There are many questions you can ask yourself when you think about your special someone. Answering these questions will help you determine if you truly love this person or if you are just experiencing feelings of infatuation or lust.
   
   • “How well do I know them?”
   • “What would my life be like without them?”
   • “Is my attraction purely physical/sexual, or am I attracted to their personality as well?”⁽²⁾
   • “When do I think about this person? All the time? Or only when I want them?”
   • “Have I thought about my future that includes them? What does my future look like?”
   • “What do I value in a committed relationship? Can this person meet those needs?”
   • “Do I feel supported and encouraged by them?”
   • “What am I willing to sacrifice to make my relationship with them better? Am I willing to sacrifice anything?”
   • “Am I truly happy when I’m with this person?”
   • “How will I feel when they are not around? Will I miss them? How much?”
   • “Am I jealous or possessive of this person?”⁽³⁾

（edit）Identify Your Feelings About Love

1. Determine how much you like this person and whether your feelings are romantic. Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in lust or infatuation with a person. Take some time to think about whether your feelings toward that special someone are romantic and whether you’re actually interested in this person.
   
   • Are you physically attracted to them?
   • Do you want a committed relationship with this person or do you just want friendship?
   • Are you only interested in physical intimacy or is it just an added value to your good relationship?
   • Do you feel your heart flutter when you think of this person?
   • Can you imagine introducing this person to your family and friends as your significant other?
   • Do you often miss them or fantasize about a future together?
2. Write down what you like about that special someone. Finding the qualities you like in this person can help you determine if your feelings are true love or just infatuation or lust. If your list includes more physical traits, then there’s a good chance you’re not really in love with this person, but rather lusting after them.
   
   • Personality Traits
   • Physical characteristics
   • Positive attributes—are they real?
   • Negative attributes – Is it likable or annoying?
3. Consider how you think about your romantic partner and whether you think of “us.” In Part 1, you spent some time deciphering your thoughts about that special someone. When you think of this person, do you think of “we” or “us,” meaning that you see the two of you as connected?⁽⁴⁾
   
   • Can you imagine your future with this person in one year? Five years? Fifteen years?⁽⁵⁾
   • Do you find yourself making decisions based on what’s in the best interest of both of you?
   • How important are their dreams and aspirations to you?
   • Are you willing to fully support this person in overcoming the difficulties in his or her life?⁽⁶⁾
4. Decide if you accept your significant other for who they are. Flaws are as much a part of a person’s personality as strengths. You need to consider whether you accept your significant other completely for who they are, or if there are things about them that you wish were different.
   
   • Many times, when you realize you’re in love with someone, you realize that person’s flaws don’t bother you. You accept them, flaws included, and are willing to work together to overcome them.
   • At the same time, you find yourself becoming a better person because of your significant other. They accept your flaws, but you find yourself striving to become better for the sake of the relationship.⁽⁷⁾
5. Ask yourself if you are willing to make sacrifices for this person.⁽⁸⁾ Being in love and loving someone requires a willingness to make sacrifices and compromises. When two people are together, it is not always possible for only one person to be able to do it.
   
   • Do you find yourself making decisions that benefit your partner more than you do yourself?
   • Will you make concessions or sacrifices to keep both parties happy?
   • How much are you willing to sacrifice for this relationship?
   • Do you think this person is worth your sacrifice?
   • Are these sacrifices an inconvenience for you, or do you really want to do them?
6. Observe your behavior around your significant other. People often treat their significant others differently than they treat their friends and family. Observe your behavior around your significant other.
   
   • Do you find yourself giving this person special treatment?
   • What is your mood like? Happier? More positive? Glum? Sad?
   • Do you respect your special someone?
   • Are you dizzy?
   • Do you find yourself engaging in more physical contact with them, such as holding hands or hugging?
   • Do you want everyone to know that you love them?⁽⁹⁾

（edit）Make a commitment

1. Tell your partner how you feel. Once you’ve decided you love your significant other, express those feelings to them. This gives you a chance to make sure you and your partner are on the same page and helps your relationship grow.
   
   • “I recently realized that I’m in love with you, and I wanted you to know that.”
   • “I love you. You have so many qualities that I value, and I want you to know how much I care about you.”
   • “You are very special to me. I have been waiting for the right moment to say: I love you.”
   • “You mean the world to me. I’ve just recently realized that I’m thinking about both of us and making decisions with both of us in mind. I love you.”
2. Give your partner time to respond to your feelings. Sometimes, when you express those feelings, your partner isn’t ready to reciprocate. You have to decide if your relationship is heading in the direction you want it to go, or if your partner will never feel this way about you.
   
   • Even if your partner isn’t ready to say “I love you” back, they may still be genuinely interested in you. If you truly love this person, then you should continue with the relationship. The reason they aren’t ready could be because their previous relationship wasn’t a good one, or they’re new to dating.
   • On the other hand, if you realize that your significant other doesn’t feel the same way, it may be best to end the relationship before you experience further heartbreak.
3. Stay in the relationship. Once you’ve expressed your feelings, it should be easy to stay in the relationship. Make sure you continue to work hard to stay in the relationship and express your love.⁽¹⁰⁾
   

（edit）How to know if you love someone?

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（edit）Cutting Edge

• Give your relationship some time to develop into love. It may or may not happen quickly, but it’s best not to force it.⁽¹¹⁾

（edit）Related wikiHow

• Know if you love someone
• Know if you are in love
• Know if you love someone
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