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At dusk, I was on the Autobahn heading towards Uckermark. My speed was between 120 and 130 kilometers per hour. There was no one on the A11, no other cars. I suddenly had the urge to turn the steering wheel and drive into the guardrail.
The urge was quite strong. I had no idea where it came from. It wasn’t like I heard voices in my head or anything like that. I wasn’t in any danger of suicide, as far as I knew. Yet there was a sudden desire to disappear, to disappear like a piece of sugar in my coffee, to disappear, a desire that I couldn’t give a specific reason for at that moment. The desire to disappear from the world was just there, pulling me in like a current in the ocean grabs a swimmer. That was all.
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