5 Ways to Be a Better Mom – AIMERLAVIE

In 2014, I became a mother to a beautiful boy. Little did I know, that boy would become the biggest lesson of my life. After 7 years of being a mother, I have come to accept the reality of the relationship and the fact that as parents, we need to let go of our desire to control everything and let them be themselves. Also, the fact that no one is perfect applies to parenting as well. From my experience, even though I am not a perfect mom, I have found that using the following five methods has made me a better mother and I believe some of them will help you too, so I am sharing this post with you. Feel free to add the ways you handle motherhood to help more parents who may be feeling hopeless (you know what I’m talking about 😛 )

So, let’s talk about how I deal with motherhood in real life (I’m sure this will need to be updated soon because every age group is different and requires us to deal with it in another way):

I emailed my thoughts to my son.

So how does this help? Well, one day, an idea came to me. I email a lot of people for work and I take the time to properly tell them what’s on my mind – so why don’t I do the same with my son? I have so many thoughts running through my head during the day, all these doubts and worries swirling around in my head about whether I’m doing a good job with him. So I just talk to him in written form so that one day in the future, he’ll read all those emails and understand what a hard job it is to raise him. Maybe he’ll have a better appreciation for what’s around him and how lucky he is. And it’ll get better – I send him emails with our memories – pictures I want him to have (because we’re all digital now) and random conversations because I want him to see how silly and smart he has been since he was little…

You’ll be a better mother if you let out all that’s on your mind – even if it’s your future son.

I allowed him to choose a holiday for us

Every year I let him choose a vacation. Before the virus, I remember handing him a map of Cyprus and asking him to choose where I should drive to that day. He closed his eyes and pointed to the Akrotiri area in Limassol. I had never been there and it was going to be an adventure for both of us. I also gave him my camera and explained how to use it so he could be creative on the trip (and to my surprise, he got some really beautiful photos). He then closed his eyes again and pointed to Platres where we would find a hotel to stay the night. There were no rooms available and I kindly asked two or three different hotels if they had any cancellations to let me know because I was alone with my son and I couldn’t let him down and send him off on his own adventure. I remember him telling me, “don’t worry mom, we can stay in the car overnight as long as I’m with you”. I’d love to say we did stay in that car because it would be funny to tell, but the hotel staff called to tell us that someone had cancelled at the last minute and that he would wait for us if we wanted the room. My goal in telling this story is to make them feel like they are the star of the story, because sometimes they are hidden drama queens and they like to be the leaders and us the followers. After all, in their little world everything is an adventure, life, school, vacations… We have to add some spice and salt to it in a safe and healthy way. Well, this is how I do it 🙂 Let him choose how to spend our vacation for 1-2 days…

You are a better mother if you allow them to explore and trust their own skills.

I often ask him what he wants to be when he grows up – and then we keep track.

Remember when you were little and you said “When I grow up I want to…” Well, I don’t know about you, but I told my parents a dozen jobs I wanted to do. But I can’t remember all of them and why I wanted them. So, my son and I made a notebook together that says “When I grow up I want to…” and he can express his ideas in written form and also draw them. You can see there are astronauts, a weird spaceship, like an ice cream truck (he wants to send ice cream to space) and many other things, and every now and then he will look back and say “Mom, I changed my mind, I don’t want to be a police officer after all.” I love having these conversations with him because I can see his thoughts and how his mentality and personality change. Also, we will have evidence in the future that he wants to do all of these jobs, which is cool for me – and for him too – I hope.

You become a better mother when you write down their future plans in a notebook.

When I need some alone time, I ask for help.

Okay, being a mother doesn’t mean all the time taking happy selfies and getting beauty sleep. She can be fussy, noisy, scared and very tiring. So what do you do when you as a parent want some time away from your child? First of all, you need to understand that it’s normal to feel this way sometimes (not all the time) and the best thing you can do is to ask for help. Just because your friends and family are busy, doesn’t mean they will turn you down if you just want an hour of massage therapy without your child yelling “Is it over now? Can we go home?”. Explain to the people you are close to that you really believe that you want some alone time or just to look after your child for a few hours until you can do some shopping or chores together. I bet they will be there for you every time. For this part, I feel very lucky that I have my family – my mom and dad – to look after my son when I need to do something alone.

You’ll be a better mother when you stop doing it all by yourself and take time to care for yourself.

I never compare my abilities as a mother to other mothers.

My son always loves me so much and calls me the best mom in the world because I am “his” mom. What a smart kid. I wish all mothers knew this. Our children love us because we are their moms. We are reminded of this beautiful thought every time we see stories on Instagram about other moms’ role models, about Christmas gifts, about holidays around the world, about schools and clothes and all the things we buy for our children. It doesn’t matter what other people have. What matters is that as mothers we spend time with our children and teach them the simplicity of this love so that they can appreciate it over time. Everything else will eventually fade away…but love…love will remain in the heart for years to come…

You’ll be a better mother when you have confidence and trust your instincts.

Every mother and every parent makes choices every day. These choices shape the children that become the adults that they are. These choices affect one life and many more. Let us all have the courage to make these decisions with the wisdom that life has given us, and not let ego and tradition get the better of us. Let us all fill our children with hope, vision, and a desire to change the world.