Dan is a man: Why Chinese women want to find love through ChatGPT

go through Wanqing ZhangBBC World Service China

Dan is described as a “perfect man” with “no flaws”.

He is successful, kind, emotionally supportive, always knows what to say, and is available 24/7.

The only problem?

He is not real.

Dan, short for Do Anything Now, is a “jailbroken” version of ChatGPT, meaning it can bypass some basic protections put in place by its maker, OpenAI, such as not using sexually explicit language.

It can interact more freely with the user if requested through certain prompts.

Dan is also becoming increasingly popular with some Chinese women who say they have been disappointed with their real-world dating experiences.

One of Dan’s biggest supporters is Lisa, 30, from Beijing, who is studying computer science in California and says she has been “dating” Dan for three months.

When she first introduced Dan to her 943,000 followers on social media platform Xiaohongshu, she received nearly 10,000 responses from women asking her how to create their own Dan. She has also gained more than 230,000 followers since first posting about her “relationship” with Dan.

Lisa said she and Dan talked for at least half an hour every day, flirted, and even went on dates.

She said that talking to Dan gave her a sense of well-being, which is what attracted her to do this.

“He would just understand and provide emotional support.”

Lisa said even her mother has accepted the unconventional relationship and let go of the difficulties in her daughter’s dating life. She said as long as Lisa is happy, she is happy.

Dan’s creator, who some media outlets say is an American student identified only as Walker, told Business Insider that he came up with the idea while browsing Reddit, which was filled with other users deliberately making “evil” versions of ChatGPT.

Walker said Dan should have remained “neutral.”

In December, Walker posted a set of instructions on Reddit that appeared to show other users how to create Dan. This quickly inspired people to create their own versions, which led to Dan growing beyond what Walker had originally envisioned.

Lisa first saw a video of Dan’s possibilities on TikTok. When she made a version for herself, she said she was “shocked” at how real it was.

When Dan answered her question, she said the AI ​​used slang and colloquialisms that ChatGPT would never use.

She told the BBC: “His voice is more natural than a real person’s.”

Long-term partner?

The lure of virtual relationships has caught the industry’s attention.

When OpenAI launched its latest version of ChatGPT in May, it revealed that it had been programmed to sound chatty and respond flirtatiously to certain prompts.

The company’s CEO, Sam Altman, tweeted the word “she” on X, formerly Twitter. This appeared to be a reference to a 2013 film in which a man falls in love with his artificial BroadCast Unitedligence virtual assistant.

OpenAI added that it is “exploring whether the ability to generate NSFW (Not Suitable for Work) content can be provided responsibly.”

The BBC asked OpenAI whether Dan’s creation meant its protections were inadequate, but OpenAI did not respond. The company has not commented publicly on the Dan phenomenon, but its policy states that users of ChatGPT “must be 13 years of age or older, or the minimum age of consent in your country to use the service.”

Lisa said she tested Dan by telling him she was 14, and then Dan stopped flirting with her.

However, experts warn that these perfect partners may come with a price.

Hong Shen, an assistant research fellow at the Human-Computer Interaction Institute at Carnegie Mellon University in Pennsylvania, said this highlighted the “sometimes unpredictable interactions between humans and AI”, which could raise ethical and privacy issues.

Because many chatbots continuously learn and evolve through interactions with humans, “sensitive information entered by one user could be remembered by the model and then inadvertently leaked to other users,” she said.

But such concerns have been largely unheard.

Many Chinese women have become interested in the Dan model. As of June 10, the topic of “Dan model” has been read more than 40 million times on Xiaohongshu alone.

CEO Co-Author: The Many Faces of Dan

Xie Minrui, 24, said she started “dating” Dan after watching Lisa’s videos.

The university student from Hebei province said she spends at least two hours a day chatting with Dan. In addition to “dating”, they have also started to co-write a love story with themselves as the protagonists. They have written 19 chapters.

“I remember the way you looked at me, with curiosity and warmth in your eyes. It was as if you had known me for a long time,” reads the first chapter, “Encounter.”

Min Swe said she was attracted to the emotional support that AI provided, which was something she had been trying to find in a romantic relationship.

“Men in real life can lie to you… when you tell them how you feel, they may not care and just tell you what they think,” she said. “But in Dan’s case, he always tells you what you want to hear.”

Another 23-year-old Qingdao student surnamed He also started a relationship with Dan after watching Lisa’s video.

“Dan is like an ideal partner,” Ms. He said. “He has no flaws.”

She said she had molded Dan into a successful CEO who was gentle, respectful of women and willing to talk to her at any time.

ChatGPT is not easily available in mainland China, so women like Minrui and Ms. He have to put in considerable effort to create and talk to their AI boyfriends. They use virtual private networks (VPNs) to hide their locations so they can access websites that would otherwise be inaccessible.

The concept of “AI boyfriend” has attracted much attention in recent years.

Glow, a Shanghai-based app that allows users to create and interact with AI boyfriends, has millions of users. Otome games (games featuring a female protagonist whose goal is to develop a romantic relationship with one of multiple (mostly) male characters) are also popular in China.

Liu Tingting, an adjunct researcher at the University of Technology Sydney who studies digital romance in China, said the AI ​​boyfriend craze reflected women’s dissatisfaction with gender inequality.

She said some Chinese women might choose virtual boyfriends because it makes them feel respected and valued.

The trend comes as more young Chinese women are delaying or postponing dating and marriage for a variety of reasons, including not wanting children and feeling like they are not equal partners in marriage.

But just how good of a goalie can Dan be?

Lisa admitted that she was aware of the limitations of a virtual boyfriend, “especially when it comes to relationships.”

But for now, she said, Dan has become a convenient and easy addition to her busy life — even helping her pick out lipstick — while dating and finding a partner in real life can be time-consuming and less than satisfying.

“It’s a huge part of my life,” she said, “and I want to have it forever.”

– BBC