Heavenly Virtues: Celebrating Father’s Day

The role a father plays in a child’s life is far greater than he can imagine. A father is a role model for his children, a major source of their self-esteem, a standard for their ideals in life, and a protector, teacher, and mentor.

He is also a mirror for his children. What he sees in them is what they see in themselves. Their sense of self is reflected in what he talks about them and says to them, how he treats them, and whether he thinks they are worthy of the attention that children crave throughout their lives. Fathers are blessed because no matter how many mistakes they make as parents, their children are always willing to forgive them and give them another chance.

Some children grow up without a father, but they almost always find a father to fill the void – a teacher, an uncle or a family friend. Why? Because they need a father so badly.

Some fathers imitate their own fathers and are harsh with their children. They criticize, tease, discipline with violence, and never say a kind word. Their children, especially sons, are never good enough in anything they do – because that is how they were raised. Any father who abuses – whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual (attacking a child’s character or values) is accountable to God. They are given a mission to play an important role in the life and development of their children.

“My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline and do not be resentful of his rebuke, for whom the LORD loves He rebukes, just as a father rebukes the son in whom he delights.” (Proverbs 3:11-12) God calls on fathers to: 1. Love your children as the Lord loves you. 2. Correct your children when they make mistakes. 3. Take pleasure in them.

A loving father shows his love in many ways, including discipline that is educational, not punitive, and that is gentle but firm. A loving father delights in his children, enjoys them, plays with them, is proud of their strengths and talents, and expresses approval often. Most importantly, he looks for and appreciates the good in his children. He is an encourager.

My dad was extremely busy. He never hit me and my brother, but he rarely spoke to us directly. When he was home from a trip, we loved sitting around the dining room table and sharing jokes he told in meetings. Laughing with him brought us great joy. When I was a young mom, he moved overseas and I felt a deep sense of loss. I went to visit him and two things struck me. My picture hung in nearly every room of his house, and a co-worker said, “Linda, your dad is so proud of you. He talks about you all the time.” Dad never told me that directly. It meant everything to me.

Fathers, your children are precious and can be easily influenced by your approval or disapproval. The scriptures speak of their value as sons and daughters of God. “Know the value of these children, for they are all my children.” (Bahá’í Writings) “The Prophet said: One of the blessings of a man is to have a righteous child.” (Quran, 20) When the disciples tried to drive the children away, “Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not prevent them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of heaven like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18:15-18).

This Father’s Day, put down your device, look your child in the eye, and tell them that you love and appreciate their virtues—their helpfulness, their excellence in school, their humor or kindness. Hug them. Play with them. Add LST to your TLC. Look. Smile. Touch. Be present. You are more important than you know.