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TikTok users enjoy car time and self-care.
photo: Tik Tok
You may have seen posts on social media touting the virtues of “car time” as some kind of primal therapy or self-care.
“I don’t care what anyone says — sitting in a car alone, just enjoying it quietly, that’s elite self-care,” Alyson Stoner said in a TikTok video.
TikTok user Hannahheli1 wrote: “The only peace you have all day is eating (McDonalds) in your car alone.”
Another user said she spent half an hour in her car before going to the gym.
Cars have a lot of advantages. They’re like a tiny living room filled with stuff you can carry around. Sit quietly. Listen to music. Call a friend. Browse the web quietly. But how beneficial is sitting in a car as an act of self-care?
Caroline Williams, a Christchurch counsellor, sniffed the air from the #cartime balloon and said: “If it’s the best tool in your toolbox then it tells you something.”
“We go from box to box, but it doesn’t really help people regulate in a healthy way, not in the long term,” she said, adding that spaces like offices and homes are filled with artificial light and stale air.
Caroline Williams, Christchurch counsellor
photo: supply
Instead, Williams argues that people should think of “green time” as a scientifically validated form of self-regulation — time spent outdoors in nature.
A 2019 study It was found that at least 120 minutes of time spent in nature each week is needed to maintain good physical and mental health. A 2016 study New Zealanders were found to be on par with people in other developed countries, spending around 30 minutes a day in outdoor spaces at home, and that was in the summer.
How beneficial your drive time is depends on what self-care you do in your car. Are you meditating? Practicing breathing exercises? Reading a book? Maybe, but probably not.
“They’re sitting in their cars and looking at other people on social media who are sitting in their cars,” Williams said.
Karen Field, a retired psychotherapist who founded the Talking Works website, said decompressing in a car could be helpful for people who are transitioning from work to family and are having relationship problems, or if you risk being hit by a group of jumping children as soon as you open your car door.
“Collect your thoughts before you go into the house,” Field said.
I’m driving to work for the first time in years. People pity me when I say it’s going to take an hour or more. Don’t.
It provides much needed oxygen to my life, allowing me to sit quietly, call a friend, pray, and listen to music or a podcast (where murder can be mentioned and I don’t need to explain what murder is to a five year old).
I find the driving process to be a transitional time – leaving the work brain behind and getting into the parent mindset. It’s similar to the benefits of being on a plane for a few hours to put you in vacation mode.
Jenny Hale is a Senior Parenting Coach at Parenting Place.
photo: supply
Jenny Hale, senior parenting coach at The Parenting Center, reframes car time as “breaks,” and those breaks don’t always happen in the car. Otherwise, the transition can be jarring.
“When we talk about preparing for kids or finding some bandwidth, we’re talking about getting into nature or being alone and having some peace and quiet,” Hale said, and the car can be a great place for that transition, “to reflect, think and breathe.”
One parent Hale has coached said she spends half an hour in her car outside the preschool every day before picking up her child to take some time to herself.
“I think cars are very convenient and usually not too far away from you,” Hale said.
“You don’t want to have too many things holding you back. Your car is good enough for people to just jump in,” she said.
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